A long postponed meeting..

 

We have been friends through blogging for so long. Sha came with Net to my hometown some 13 years ago. They stayed for 2 days here and later I visited Sha at her old house in Sg Long. Then we did not see each other more than decade. 

So many things happened with that time. I became the Headmistress and then later in an education officer and after 4 years I opted out.. Retired. And Sha has been all over the world, working and travelling. Our communication is through comments coloum in this blog..only sometimes.

Last week I saw her status and said hi. Asking where would she be as we were planning to stay t Am's house for the weekend. She replied and invited us to her home Friday morning. 

She prepared delicious nasi lemak and other food which we loved so much. We chatted for quite  a while and later we went back with some food to bring home for Am.

Sha.. Thank you so much for your warm hospitality ad hope to see you again soon. I hope the next meeting will not wait another 13 years coz I probably will not be around at that time.

Aurora is now a big girl Net. We miss u too. 

Wut

After 15 years..

I am a loyal person.. Most of my friends have IG account or Tik Tok or at least FB. I have none of that. My phone just for What apps or Telegram which is now very seldom used after my retirement.

I keep a very low profile and have very limited friendship circle, just few old friends to contact once in a while. Only few old colleagues come for a visit or having tea sometimes. Most of my time spent at home, or go for a routine morning walk and later stopped by my brother's house for a chat or makan makan and go home later on.

My life is simple. My husband has become my closest friend.. Go for a ride around and he is so patiently driving me any where for food tasting and looking out for new places.

The only thing I keep since 15 years go as to communicate even one sided, is this blog. I don't mind if the readers are not expanding or have any desire to collect readers because the blog is actually my space to write about my experience and my feelings.. Not so interesting because all my entries are real stories . All my feeling are real and I don't pretend to be somebody else to gain popularity.

So. I wonder until when this blog will exist.. Until when I will write.. I just hope that who ever come across this blog and read  the entries will know some how in this big world I have existed once.

Till then....Welcome to the new year 2026

Wut

She did it again..

 

Siblings can be heartless sometimes..

Some demand to be heard, to be listened, to be cared about her feelings but some how fail to do the same to others.. So self centered.

True.. They are born from the same parents but when they are married they turn to be different people. The word siblings does not carry weight when your spouse have different views.  You are not my my sibling any more but you are somebody's wife. So I rest my case.

Blood is NOT thicker than water.. In fact sometimes water is cooling but blood is hurting..

Mak.. I have done my part. I surrender. 

Allah the Al Mighthy.. Forgive me for I am sinned. I am tired to be assumed.. I have my right to heal myself.. So all my doas are for me only start from now on. 

Wut

Release me back to the sea!

No.. It's not the novel written in 1980s.. It's just my little prayer that sometimes in near future, I will go back to my Creator hoping that my coming back will be smooth and be welcomed.

As a small fish, I have been a survival in this strong current river for some times like eternity. And I long to rest my tired and  beaten body in a deep slumber in which I hope a blissful one.

Of course I am scared to death meeting Him with all my sins but I am in a brink of losing any hope and sanity. 

For the time being, I am doing any thing I can as to pay my debts and be ready.

Dear Allah The Almighty.. Only You knows me and only You knows when the time comes. 

Until then.. 

Wut

August is here..

 

      The blooming pink flowers 

I have not written anything for this month. Not that my life is dormant without any events or activities. The opposite.

It is a hectic life and my life is not boring. I even slowed down many things just to let my relax and my aching limbs rest. I try not to walk too many steps during my morning walk.. I sit a lot and enjoy the scenary, to listen to birds chirping or  simply having a nice chat with my sis. I enjoy more the quietness and loneliness.

I cook almost every day but now I refuse to rush my morning routine. If I woke late, I just told Aurora to have her break at school by buying the food at the canteen. I don't want to rush to the kitchen and forced my self to prepare her bekal hastily. Aurora needs to learn that one day I will be gone. So far she is okay with canteen food and it makes me happy.

As for dinner I tried to cook my husband favourite dishes even only one dish. He is not demanding and understands that his wife is an old lady without energy to stand long in the kitchen. 

My body is getting weaker and is sensitive to even small error. I have to look closely on my food intake and my blood pressure. I always talk to Allah.. Please let me be healthy for I need to perform well as God 's servant.. As a mommy to my children.. As a wife to my husband.. As a sister to my siblings and as the owner of this ailing body that Allah have loaned to me some 61 years ago..

Please Allah.. Take me when I am well.. Grant me the husnul khotimah closure.. Aminn ya rabbal alaminn.. 

Wut

Climate change..

From google

Some 54 years ago my family moved to Pahang when my father joined Felda settlement,I was just 6 years old. I remembered the first day we arrived at our house. It was surrounded by bushes and the weeds pricked through the wooden floor gaps of the small residence provided by the Felda. It was the modest house that we called home for many many years later.

There were so many childhood memories.. Some happy moments.. Some sad heart breakings at that time. However because of our movement to Pahang I managed to finish school and even graduated with my first degree with the money my father earned working in 10 hecters oil palm plantation. 

I remember the house was so cold surrounded by  palm oil trees. I slept soundly everynight even without fan as there was no electricity. My mother used to acommpany me studying at night with the oil lamp next to me. I stayed out late as I was sitting for my STPM. I passed with flying colors and entered UKM.

In the morning, my mother used to make roti canai for breakfast. She had to put the oil bottle next to the wood fire to melt the oil as at night which was so cold, it turned solid. My father used to sit at the table with the radio on listening to  nasyid songs as the dawn break. So many memories making me melancholic. 

Nowadays, after some 50 years the climate has changed drastically. Even now I was sitting in my room waiting for the dusk prayer, with the aircond turned on fully blast.. It was still warm. There was no rains within this 3 weeks and even there was rain once, it did not take away the heat. 

How I missed the house I was brought up in Pahang.. And how I missed the morning routine with my mom cooking breakfast and my dad listening to radio.. And how I missed the old good times.. 

Al Fatihah to all my loved ones.. My mom. My dad, my sister.. 

Wut

My new vision..

 A month ago I had my cataract surgery on my left eye. A year before I had this double vision problem so the surgery had to be postponed until my vision improved and the problem solved.

My eyes are better now even though not 100 percent clear vision. Of course it will not be as clear as vision of young person because age is another factor to determine one's vision.. The older you get the more cloudy your vision.. Except some lucky people who never had to wear spectacle.. My case, I had started to wear glasses when I was form 2..long long time ago.

Now, I am  at home slowly recuperating but I was not lonely as almost every morning dropping by my brother's home for chatting and makan makan. Ohhh.. I really enjoy my retirement and have no regrets.

Till then. 

Wut