Sunday, December 18, 2016

A little update..

Hi. I rush to scribble something here, just to make sure that the blog wont sleep for long like it used to. My life is full of activities and always on the move. I missed laying down on the bed after Subuh..missed having breakfast with hubby and Aurora except on weekends which for me is not enough. So last week I took 4 days off plus the weekends and public holidays to make a straight 7 days off. What a blessed days free from rushing..and driving.

We went back to Kelantan for 3 days..just to satify my craving of Kelantanese food. I didnot do shopping like others..just spending time meeting relatives and eating to fill belly with good food.

Then, this weekend we drove to KL on Saturday so we could attend my husband's nephew wedding. My sister in law requested a cake for the wedding  so I had to bake in on Friday, put the icing Saturday morning...went bringing the cakes to KL,stayed in hotel for one night..and this moring went straight to the wedding location to assemble the cake which later cut by the wedded couple..and thats it. My work is done..and that a little thing I could help my kind sister in law.

May the bride and bridegroom live happily ever after. Ameen.

Till then..
The bride and groom love

The cake..with blooms


My are so cute..

Sunday, October 30, 2016

The wind of change..

I have been neglecting this blog for many many months. Not that I have lost my passion on putting new entry nor lost my mood in writing. I still do but the everyday routines take up most of my time, sometimes I just drive as fast as I could so I could reach home every afternoon after work, have something to eat then doze off. The next morning wake up early to start the day with the same routine..again and again. No time to read, more to write..and one thing, Aurora keeps her eyes on my phone everytime I get home. She loves my phone as it is wide enough to see her favourite little pony..

She is a big girl now. Speaks fluent English..suprises me many time with her bombastic words. She could speak Malay too, even it sounds funny to me. Her Malay pronunciations is odd and takes a lot of effort to utter a single meaningful sentence. However for her parents, it is very good enough. She is improving everyday.

She is taller n her lively chatter welcomes me home. On my way home, while driving, thinking of her makes me smile. I could not wait to reach home to kiss her cheeks and to smell her hair..sweet smell and it is a relief to be able to hug her.

My big girl Anduk is away in Shah Alam to do her
degree in law. She needs to struggle as it is quite a tough course but then it is her choice. I am proud of her because she is a small girl physically but with a very strong heart and determination to success. She does not have any trouble in taking care of herself, to mix well with her friends and to study hard as a law student.

Am has graduated last week. A diploma holder, the best student in his course. I am happy that he earned Dean List every semesta so I hope he will get a sponsorship to do his degree..he dreams to go to NZ. I really hope he would get his wish. I pray for him hard.

I am getting older. Next 2 week I will celebrate my birthday..another year has passed and still I have not gotten to be the person I wish to be. Not that I mean richness or better post. I am happy the way I am now. The only thing I miss is to be closer to Allah, to be able to perform more kindness and be a more obidient servant to Him. I too need to take care of my health. My legs are always in pain, my joints hurt everytime I get up from sleep. Aurora notices it. Aurora said to me in the car just now, " Mummy, dont get old. Be younger. I need you longer". Such a  deep sentence from a very young girl. True enough, she is very perceptive and very much matured compared to her age. She understood death. Once she notice a gray hair on my head. She asked why gray? I told her I am getting old. She cried.

Allah the most gracious and the most merciful, please give my baby the chance to enjoy me as her mother long enough until she could be on her own. Right now she needs me. She comes into my life bringing so much joy and happiness. She heals my pain and giving me reason to survive. Now she sees me as her saviour and her angel but most is she loves me as I am her mummy. Simple but yet that is the best reason. hide and seek

Am..on his graduation day

Her birthday gift..

Waiting for Anduk's interview..she got it!

Sunday, April 10, 2016

Busy like a bee..

Hi long I abandon you..But life goes on, am trying hard to keep up..daily routine, my family, my effort to have some free time for my writing which sometimes sadly taken over by fatigue. Trully I need rest more than anything because without it, I certainly could not perform my various duties. So, my free time is mostly fill up by dozing off quietly in my bedroom. Sometimes, on my way to fall asleep, I could hear my hubby hushed Aurora telling her..." mummy asleep, be quiet". Or sometimes I opened my eyes a bit to see him putting blanket over me, or adjusting the aircond temparature so that I could rest peacefully. With that, I know he cares and loves me eventhough I overlooked him, assuming that he could take care of everything since now I am busy..I am sorry Bius..and thanks so much..I love you..again and again..until we both grow old together.

My children are busy too..Ayuni is sitting for her final exam..Am is doing his practicum..and Aurora is ecouraged and pushed hard by me to learn to read. A very hard task because her mother is losing patience easily..

Here some of recent photos of us..

Have a good weekend everybody..

With Auntie Mani


Roller Blade..

Her cat toys..

Like a pro..

A soft spot on her dad..

Thursday, January 14, 2016

What matters most..

Its has been too long since the last time I posted something here.Happy new year to all. New age..but the same old person.

Many times I felt I have had experienced all in life. However sometimes things happened left a very stong and lasting bad feelings to me..until I could not sleep and rest.It is happening today.

My good impression and respect on soneone in high rank lost today. I had assumed those with authority..wise..and likes to talk about religous are supposed to be good delivering words and attitude..apparently some are not. Better those my gardener who sweat in the hot sun doing all those dirty job but still maintain respect and politeness when adressing people. Education
does not promise intelligent. And intelligent does not promise pure human heart. I had a bad experience but it opened my eyes.I do not have any power to demoralise any body but at least I have good mouth and my words do not hurt anybody..

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

After 3 times...

I had been working hard on something.. with a lot of effort to no avail. So long..and so much trouble but it was fruitless. This recent episode of my life making me sad and down. So much sadness and frustration due to the amount of hope and time spent on but apparently all gone to the trash bin. I have been worried and thinking and planning of what could I do more to secure my wish. Then, it is all in Allah Qada' and Qadar.

I slowed down. After 3 times trying, so much so, it must have meant that Allah is trying to tell me something. Trying to show me that whatever I have been working on was not good for me.That Allah has another plan for me, that He is showing me the correct path and decides on something which is much much a better option and the best solution to my problems. Trully, I did performed a lot of Solat Hajat and Tahadjjud  for this wish but Allah knows better. And after 3 times trying hard,I gave up.

I told my self that I had done enough and I had enough of this. Its time I let it go. As Your servant I cant do anything not even lifting a  finger if You says no. I did my best so I am redha to your Qada' and Qadar. Only to You I depend on and only You bestows me any rezeki if it is mine at the end.

Ya Allah, aku bertawakkal padaMu...

Till then..

Wednesday, July 15, 2015

Have the most beautiful Eid Mubarak ever to all..

Today, I still go to work.The mood of working is not there but still here I am. I have no wish to chat for long just to share a simple story about Aurora..Even a simple story but for me, it is enough to make me smile and it shows that a child has a very straight foward minds.. she is really sweet and I love her so much.

We were travelling along the highway when suddenly she said..."Mummy, where's the cow?".I was not paying attention, so she repeated, "Where is the cow, Mummy?" "What cow?" "There, Mummy, behind you."
Of course I could not see any cow behind me. We were in a car and my husband was speeding at that moment. Then it struck my mind...Ooo...she meant the sign board, the "cow" sign board on the high way alerting drivers that the area is prone to animal crossing. I see. That's what she meant. She thought by putting the sign board there, she might see some cows by the road side. baby. You are so sweet my love..

Two days before Aidil Fitri..and I wish all of you readers Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir dan Batin.

Till then..

"Where is the cow, Mummy?"

Sunday, June 7, 2015

Leaving home..

Since holding the new post, I am always busy. I seldom cook..we ate outside food almost everyday. I make it a point to cook on weekends but most of the time I spent time resting. Feel relive of not driving on weekends. I pity my family..they miss home-cooked food. Especially my hubby. He is not keen of food outside but he himself forbid me cooking after coming back from work which is around 6 everyday.

This new routine is tiring. I myself hate outside food. Sometimes I just fried some anchovies with onions and chilies..and thats my dinner "lauk" that accompany some white rice. I continued taking this "kedai" food until one day my stomach rebelled. It was a sad day because that morning  we recieved news that one of my staff passed away. She had cancer. I could still remembered the day I visited her. She kept saying that she was afraid she could not make it. Her cancer was getting fierce..I ordered my clerk to go fast in pursuing her form for medical board pension. I wanted her to feel secure leaving the family, the world with some money behind. Apparently, she could not make it..she died leaving everybody feeling at lost.

That morning I didnot take rice..had no mood. I had some fried ladies finger and a fish. That afternoon, during a formal occasion in a hall, my tummy began to rumble. I waited for the event to finish even I was unable to stand straight. I was sweating with cold sweat and immediately after receiving the scroll, I went to toilet and went out the hall. I walked to the gate waiting for my hubby..three times I stopped and vomitted. I vomitted all until late night. The next day until today..2 weeks after that day I still feel weak. I lost my appetite at all.

However, life runs as usual. The day came when Anduk has to leave home to begin her life as college student. She is offered Asasi for Law in UiTM Sg Petani..the course that she hoped for. She turned down the matriculation course because she does not like science. Its okay for us because she herself knows her limitation and her ability.

Om June 2, we sent her there. I cried in my heart. Even I want my children to stay with me but I cannot stop the time. They are drawing the new lives for them and even sad I am, I pray that they will be well and success in their future undertaking. I love you Anduk..and Am and my baby Aurora who is a gift from Allah to keep me company all along my way to old life.

Till then..
My latest cake..

The cactus blooms..rare occasions...welcoming me in new office

My Mother's Day card..from my baby..

She is posing...

Anduk..on her first day lecture..