Monday, January 23, 2012
My father has been calling several times this week to my husband's hand phone. However the latter seldom picks up the phone especially when he was on the bike. Even so, we knew my father called to ask us to visit him at kampong. I knew it was time for our next visit. We are the only people who see him..at least once a month but the rest..hmm
I have no intention to expose skeleton in the closet, let it be there..always in the closet. Nevertheless, I always believe things happen for a reason, things don't just happen for the sake of happening..we have to be responsible for any action we have taken..we have to pay for any debt we made..sometimes we have to pay for a long time..and always we will be in pain..
My father has never been a gentle and loving father to us, the children and had never been a compassionate husband to my mum. We, the kids had the most unhappy growing up time with him being an abusive father..and my mum passed away (while performing Haj) brokenhearted and had "enough" serving my father..To say that I was "glad" that my mum died in Mecca is understatement. Even though I am sad Aurora never had a chance to be loved by her grandmother and regret that my husband now never had a chance to know the most loving person to be a mother-in-law...but it is better than seeing my mother suffers if she is still around..
We still go back because I keep reminding myself that he is still my father..good or bad. And I keep reminding my husband to be a good son-in-law even though the father- in-law has never been a good father to his wife..
We go back..to see him..to chat with him..to give money. The only thing I can't give is love..because my love to him has gone..I am sorry.