Monday, March 12, 2012


Mak and Am

I had lectured Am on his lacking of effort to study. He is sitting for SPM this  year and I didn't see much effort from him nor much attention given by him towards his books. He spends more time watching movies he downloaded from the net.

When I asked him the reason, he answered that he needs motivation....then he is slower than his friends who just need to read for a while whereas he needs to read hundred times...he has no mood to study at home..a various reasons..excuses. Hmm..Am, you are living in the easy world to be compared with me who struggled in a hard time to be the person I am now. I am not rich, my son, but I can live on my own and never to burden my parents in any way.

My parents are not rich..very humble people. One thing that is different from others is they paid a lot of attention on their children's study. Lucky my father thinks education is the way to break the circle of poverty. I had my share of studying hard for every exams in my life..right from SRP until University. It was not easy Am.

The things I have now are coming from the sacrifice of every body especially your grandmother. She did not have the chance to get higher education but she could read well. Reading was her hobby. She would read any book after finishing the house chores. She gave me inspiration to be a better get out and get a better life than she had.  She could not help me on my study but every time I studied especially whenever I was sitting for an important STPM..she would stay up with me to keep me company. She was tired the whole day helping my father at oil palm plantation..doing house work..but still keeping me company at night. It broke my heart seeing her sitting with her eyes closed...later slept with her arms cushioning her head..while I was reading books next to her. Mak..I love you so much and I miss you a lot. That was why I studied hard Am. I could not afford letting her down.

That was my motivation Am!


  1. Young generation nowadays is totally different with us...they was born in a good condition which is all is ready and well prepared by their parents generally. I remember my mak also accompany me during important exam.We went through together in all circumstances eventho she was a taylor but due to education, there's no compromise at all.

    Am, if u read these I think u are very lucky rather than us. We only had 'mak' and self motivation to be strong in life but u have mak and another alternative like download movie etc, so please study hard and don't give up! U can do it!

  2. I cried reading your comments. Apparently we shared many sad stories when we were small..kan LW?

  3. many sad stories and it made us strong and strong..

    Like my entry, my nephew turn 5 today but he never ask abt his babah because he don't want to make his ibu sad when talk about 'a man' in their house. And today the man who supposed to be by his side, wish happy birthday to him is not around. This is one of the sad chapter in our me and my sister try to fullfill his need in a way to make sure he's happy and grow up like a normal kids. It is difficult but we always try..well you have kids and sure you know how difficult is the situation when he saw all his collegues was taken by their ibu bapa di krista setiap petang while he was waiting for his ibu and sometimes mommy (it's me).

  4. So sad..I wish the scene of a boy waiting (and hoping for a father) for his ibu or mommy to pick him up would be in a movie..but then it happens in reality. Painful..