Wednesday, December 15, 2010
The way I am..
The sunset today
I have been working hard to finish my task. I set up a dateline (deadline?)for me to finish editing and do my last check up before presenting it to the boss. My dateline is today. Sadly I can't meet up my dateline..still long way to go. But my mind, my fingers,my eyes ..my whole body refused to continue working. I need rest..desperately..and here I am..resting..hehe
I was in my office this morning when one of my colleague came in. I could not afford wasting my time chatting but then it was hard to say no..and some company is good for suddenly I felt lonely. So we chatted while my fingers continuously typing and editing. She popped up a question on why I work so hard when others are holidaying.My answer is simple..its my work..and I want to finish it quickly so I can go home quickly to be with my family. She continued..one day I will be a boss too, then I don't have to work hard and can just simply order someone to do things for me. I told her that I don't have such ambition..I have everything I want in my life now. I have a car..not as expensive and big like others but enough for me..a house even not a bungalow..a career even not as the boss..and the most precious is my family..and my newborn baby..enough..
I had a miserable time of my life..nearly 10 years of my life wasted by being a wife to my ex-husband. He had never respected me..respected the marriage..the family he had when he was with me. I had suffered a lot because of him...lost my dignity..felt the worst..yes..he managed to put me at the lowest level of being a woman..lost my respect and confidence.
So now, after all had passed behind me, I consider myself lucky to be able to get back my self-respect and built my life back from ashes. That is enough for me..that is happiness even I don't have the luxuries like others. I am happy the way I am. That makes my colleague quiet. That is my answer.