Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Dreading the day..finally it was over!

Looking at her cute face making me forget every thing...

Since Monday I was busy like mad. My big boss left for a four-day course leaving me to take over. I was supposed to go with him but he asked me to stay back because he did not trust others to take care of the office while he is gone. Tak aci la cam ni boss..I told him but he was adamant..and here I stay. I dread the days when my boss in not in because this week will be one of the most hectic week..beside next week of course. Next week will the final week of preparation before the big event which would take place on 31 March. Yes...the MP will come to officiate an important event. Thank God my boss will be in..otherwise I will surely be the second man..oh no..

So, the pulmonary event has started. It ran smooth even my leg felt like to give away..standing and walking nearly 10 km. Few things which I thought impossible to take place had finally happened. I am so relieved. My boss will surely be happy to see things have started some where.

That irritating person came to me asking to be excused for today's event giving me a lied reason. I knew it was a made up excuse. Let her..if it is actually a lie, Allah will punish her.

Yesterday I spent most of the time running here and there meeting people..buying things and all. I was happy but at the end felt sad. I don't know..but the news breaks my heart. I don't think I can stay here.

 Until then..

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Cameron Highlands, cupcakes and Aurora..

Vanilla cupies
Am's cake
Lamb Chop for birthday's dinner
Happy to get the present
Aurora getting vege jer..alaa
Manja with brother la tu..
The brother and sister playing pool
Aurora running here and there..

We celebrated Am birthday a few days late...waiting for him to be at home. We bought birthday present, MP3, since he likes listening to musics while doing maths questions (hmmmm...hehehe..). I could not think how could you study and listen to musics at the same time? However, I just follow. I cooked something special for him and bought a cake for him from Secret Recipes.

Today, my son will go back to hostel early. He said he wanted to finish doing the homework at hostel since he could not do so at home..Hmm..yerlah tu..

Even though it was school holiday, we did not go traveling much except going to Cameron to cool our selves
( even it was hot and humid in Cameron). We did spent quality time together..sightseeing..sampling the food in small eateries there..or just simply watching  Aurora running here and there..enjoying herself to the fullest.

I baked a batch of cupcakes for my colleague who had transfer ed to Putrajaya. It was seen by another colleague, so I baked another batch for her. People asked me, how could I made an effort to do so since it was free of charge. I said..I like to feed people and make people happy getting something. An honest thank you is enough for me.

Aurora is getting heavier. The trip to Cameron was almost unbearable for me. She slept on my lap all along the journey. When we arrived at home I could not stretch my hand and feet. They were numb and so painful. Luckily after some massage they were fine. Next long trip we need to buy a child car seat for her.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Not well..

I have not feeling well this last couple of weeks. Flu and fever made my whole body aching especially at the joints. Thankfully I survived and it is gone without affecting Aurora.

Been busy as usual. I went to work, having meeting almost every day, seeing new people, working with them opened my eyes. They are very hardworking and very precise in doing things. They set up a good example and I should follow.

During working I had to be in close contact with the person. I felt odd..I thought I have managed to get it over but apparently some still stay inside my heart. And the sadness came again today watching..

May be the idea of leaving this place is not  bad after all. I have to go.

Monday, March 12, 2012


Mak and Am

I had lectured Am on his lacking of effort to study. He is sitting for SPM this  year and I didn't see much effort from him nor much attention given by him towards his books. He spends more time watching movies he downloaded from the net.

When I asked him the reason, he answered that he needs motivation....then he is slower than his friends who just need to read for a while whereas he needs to read hundred times...he has no mood to study at home..a various reasons..excuses. Hmm..Am, you are living in the easy world to be compared with me who struggled in a hard time to be the person I am now. I am not rich, my son, but I can live on my own and never to burden my parents in any way.

My parents are not rich..very humble people. One thing that is different from others is they paid a lot of attention on their children's study. Lucky my father thinks education is the way to break the circle of poverty. I had my share of studying hard for every exams in my life..right from SRP until University. It was not easy Am.

The things I have now are coming from the sacrifice of every body especially your grandmother. She did not have the chance to get higher education but she could read well. Reading was her hobby. She would read any book after finishing the house chores. She gave me inspiration to be a better get out and get a better life than she had.  She could not help me on my study but every time I studied especially whenever I was sitting for an important STPM..she would stay up with me to keep me company. She was tired the whole day helping my father at oil palm plantation..doing house work..but still keeping me company at night. It broke my heart seeing her sitting with her eyes closed...later slept with her arms cushioning her head..while I was reading books next to her. Mak..I love you so much and I miss you a lot. That was why I studied hard Am. I could not afford letting her down.

That was my motivation Am!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Happy Birthday My Son.. a few hours on  Mac  8 you will be a year older my son. Seventeen years ago you were born..came into my life. Long before you were born, I had dreamt, I had wished for a son. I refused to be told of your gender when I went to is because I just knew that the be a boy. And I was right.

Am..your opah loved you so much. She used to save the money I sent her every month to buy cloth, to sew on her own., your 'baju melayu' even the old sewing machine gave her much problems and she herself could not see well. But still, she managed to make you the green 'baju melayu' which until now I keep dearly. Your atok kept the rambutans on the tree until they turned deep red longing for you to come back to eat them. And I, your mother willing to give my heart and my soul as long as you will grow up well, be a great man,  to excel in study and in a good and obedient muslim short be happy always. study hard for your SPM this year. Your ayah has high hopes on you..he too loves you so much. And if opah was here with us, I am sure she would be proud of you.. the grandson whom she adored since small has now grown up into a sweet and loving young man.

Happy  17 th Birthday my son..our love for you will always be in abundance.

Monday, March 5, 2012


With her bubbles
Her little legs..hehehe (mak dia tada keje la ni)
Her little hand...(memang la tada keje lain mak nye)..hehe
Blabbering time...
Manja ayah ni..

It has been more than a week I didn't write. Not that I didn't try to write or dried up with ideas. I did try to put new entry but every time there must be interruptions making me stopped halfway. There are many things had happened last week..and will more to come I suppose..but all these made me tired. Sometimes I just went to sleep even though physically I was not that tired. .When I could not bear the tension and stress at work...sleeping is just the best way to stop thinking. And I thank Allah the Most Gracious to grant me a good sleep..and it comes so easy without me turning and tossed around.

In less than a hour my baby Aurora will turn 17 months. She is sleeping peacefully now. I am glad to see her growing up well. A few days ago she was not feeling well..a mild fever because she is teething..not one tooth but a few in one shot. She whimpered and wanted to be carried all the time. My weekend was spent pampering her and following her wishes. That was another reason for me to be so tired. However now she comes back to her real self..smiling and cooing..blabbering nonsense which for me the sweetest sound on baby..your presence heals my pain..the best thing that had happened to me. Thank you Allah. Thank You.