Saturday, February 23, 2013

Al - fatihah ....the second.

I have never thought I would make another entry with the same title in the same week. Apparently I did. Yes, another person close to me had just passed away.

Last Friday, after picking me up at the collage, we went straight to KL. I just want to eat something because for the whole week, I was deprived by forcing myself to swallow down tasteless food. ( What do you expect?..The  nasi kawah menu is sure not as good as home-cooked food..) I know is just I am not used to stay in collage after more than 20 years leaving university. We went home after dinner and arrived safely around 10 p.m. However, around 2.30 a.m, my husband received a call. His third sister passed away in HKL. We discussed what to do. Since my husband was very tired and sleepy, we decided to go again to Kl this morning.

I have so many stories to tell about this visit since I met almost all my husband's family members. May be later.

We will travel again tomorrow morning...visiting Anduk in Bagan Datoh and later sending me back to the
college for the second week of the course. This course is asking a lot of sacrifices... I don't mind doing so, but truly I feel sad seeing that everybody in my family are also doing the same. Somehow, we have to go on. I just hope it pays.

Till then..

Friday, February 22, 2013

Going home..and Anduk..

I miss this girl... a lot.

Lecture will finish by 4.15 today. I have finished packing and within one hour my husband will start his journey here to come and fetch me home. I am excited but not too much because I have two more weeks to go. And the most critical part is after the lectures, the work..a lot of work follow me home. Thinking about that making me tired...headache.

I sent messages to my boss everyday, simple note to show how I feel sad for him..that I understand him..that I am too his friend not just his second man. That's all I can do.I have never been that close to him except during working hours. We seldom make a call or sms each other except in emergency cases. He respects my privacy and I too respect his. True, he talks to me almost all the time..I am closer to him than any other male officers there. However, when it comes to our private lifes, he is very respectful. I admire this attitude.

I just hope that he is fine. And the family is fine too.

I am thinking about girl. It is almost a month already but still she sounds sad every time she calls me. I promised her if she is still unable to cope with the hostel life, can't get along with the way her teachers are teaching, she can come back home..for good. Forget about boarding school and all. However, now, especially after the death of my boss's wife, I seriously think that family is number one and the happiness of each family member is substantial.

If I pull her out from the boarding school, it is not because of her asking me to, but I want her to be happy. It is my make sure everyone is happy. She wants to be home because she is happy with me and others, so it is very cruel of me to cut off her happiness just to satisfy my wish to send her to the school. However, if she wants to stay there, I accept. I will talk about it to my husband later.

Till then..

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Al- Fatihah..

Just now at 11.45 p.m I received a sms from my boss.His wife passed away at 11.05 p.m.

A week ago his wife was admitted to a private hospital for a fibroid surgery. My boss asked me to replace him to come for duty last Wednesday because he wanted to send her to the hospital. It was actually a simple surgery without any high risk. However, during the surgery the doctor accidentally ( what? a private hospital ? they are supposed to be better? ) cut the uterus (stupid surgeon) and that caused infection. Not taking any  risk they sent her back  to the government hospital. 4 days later she passed away in comma.

I cried. I am still crying. I know her quiet well. She was a soft spoken and gentle lady. A very commited and respectful housewife. I regret for being away from home. I was thinking to visit her this coming weekend...but she goes first. I can't think how would my boss managed the house without her..and  managed the office without me. In his condition..I just pray that he can be strong . Truly I feel sad for him and his biggest loss.

Al Fatihah..May her soul be blessed.

Monday, February 18, 2013

I am here..body but not soul..

Yes, here. Some 150 km away from home. I attended the course from morning till late afternoon.Tomorrow we will even have class at night. Let it be. I hope when I am tired, I could just fall asleep.. Not like yesterday night. I couldn't sleep until 4 a.m. Cried and kissed again and again Aurora's shirt. Pathetic I am. I know, but I couldn't help it. I think I would not choose to be promoted if I have to be far away from her.

Let it be. I am tired..not physically but sick of missing love.

Saturday, February 16, 2013

I am going...

I received the phone call last Thursday telling me that I got through the interview and I am supposed to start the 5 months course this coming Sunday - to register. It was a real luck of me to be given a chance to choose to go the south or to the north. I was supposed to go north, some 300 km away from home. But by Allah Grace  I managed to squeeze myself in to the nearest course location..only 150km away from home. For a start I have to stay there for 3 weeks..later to come back home doing assignments and through a website and e-mails.

I didn't want to go but my husband said what is the purpose of attending the interview and traveled more than 300 km when finally I rejected the offer. And he said Idham is around to look after Aurora..better going now rather than waiting later and at that time Idham should have gone somewhere after the SPM results is out. And when I asked for his consent  to go, he said yes. Go now.

So I am going..starting this Sunday..Please Allah help me to go through the course without much problems and give us strenght to be parted for a while. One thing for sure..I am going to miss Aurora a lot. I am going to cry missing her..Please Allah..let me be strong.

Sunday, February 10, 2013

A woman's lamenting..

Last Thursday night my sister and me went to visit my cousin's wife who is said to be really ill. She has lung cancer, the same ailment like Cik Nor ( my ex baby sitter).  We arrived at the house around 6.30 p.m. To our surprise, she was not at home. My cousin and his eldest daughter who were there told us that she went out to the mosque? Out? I was a bit  shocked and skeptical. She was supposed to just came out from the ICU and the next day was out alone, driving, I the mosque? And the husband was not really sure where she was. And I could see that they were inventing stories of her whereabouts because they seemed restless.

My cousin excused himself because he wanted to get ready to go to mosque for Maghrib prayer. I was amazed because he didn't say a word about going out to SEARCH for the missing wife. What a shocking behaviour. He was not worried of the safetiness of the wife, driving alone and she herself was not well. After he went out, we spoke to the daughter. We had heard the not-so-nice stories about my cousin's various affairs with other ladies but that afternoon I saw with my own eyes how thoughtless, cruel, inconsiderate a man can be when he is having an affair with other cruel, inconsiderate and stupid ladies.

The wife was sick, been sick for so long and now suffering mental torture because of his 'fun rides' with other ladies. Where does he put his heart..his mind? What irritates me most is, he hides his 'criminal acts' by portraying himself as 'alim' man..going to the mosque almost every nights, wearing an innocent mask to others. However, with his wife he is a monster.

I felt ashamed with the wife. After all, the husband was my cousin, one of the most respectable person in my family. So, that afternoon, all four of us cried (me, my sister, her daughter and her ). We felt her pain. But she is the one who has to go through the most painful 'illness' in any woman's life...when your husband is having an affair.

I hope Allah would give her strenght...and to the husband resentment. He has done too much harms.

Places to go,,,and Aurora turns 28 months old

Here I would like to upload several photos of our many journeys.Some done during the school holidays and  some had taken place just recently. Aurora was the model in almost every single photo taken. Here they are.

Our journey to Penang during the school holidays...Aurora felt odd the first time touching the sand..but only the  first few seconds..hehhe..

The view from our the view from here.

The next journey...Genting Highlands. The view from the cable car. It was like going into the oblivion..the twilight zone...eerie.

Even Aurora was uneasy. Clearly she was scared.

It was very cold there plus raining and the freezing wind blew hard.

Idham wanted to try the game. He screamed...hehehe. He commented that his heart was beating hard until it nearly drop.

After sending LW and Net at the train station we went shopping at TI and later went to Bagan learn the road because the week after that we went again to send Ayuni to SABDA. I love the view.

The first time going there she was smiling..and later when staying there she changes her mind.
The next journey- Kuala the river.

Aurora at Masjid Ubuddiah Kuala Kangsar.

The next trip...She was sleeping soundly in the journey to Padang Besar. 
The journey to Padang Besar. It sure was hot there. It was a long drive but I love to see the hills, the clouds and the horizon meet.

The latest family trip to Taiping..Kuala Sepetang. While waiting for the Mee Udang Mak Jah's to start business, we went to this Hutan Bakau Pelajaran. for a walk. Nice, but if I am alone..upah RM 100 pun I won't go in. Scary..

This is the famous Mee Udang Mak Jah. The prawns were fresh and yummy. The service was fast.

We stayed here - Kamalodge. Clean..and the swimming pool is suitable for children. The roomi s also comfortable and affordable. This is the view from our room. hero is enjoying the nasi lemak.

Ahaa..Aurora spent two hours playing in the water. Jenuh la ayah nye berendam sekali..hehhe

After checking out...lunched at Doli Kueyteow.  Hungry..Aurora ate a lot.

This is the craving kueyteow. Yummy..

I love the view. The trees are old but giving a very dramatic sight. 
Last but not place. The station was empty when we came to send off LW and Net.  
Lata Kinjang. We spent one hour here...eating and gossiping. Come again my friends. back is hurting me now. Might be due to all the trips I took...and it was nearly one hour I am sitting uploading the photos. Aurora is waiting for me on the bed. Got to go..

Till then..

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Hmmm...she wants to come home.

Yup..Ayuni wants to quit boarding school. Wants to come back for good. Can't stand the life in hostel..tired of sleepless nights. She said it was hot at nights..can't sleep (of course no aircond in hostel). The food is not nice, the teacher is teaching too fast, can't catch up. Last but not least.."adik rindu mak".....she cried. Twice she declared the intention of coming back..once last night..again this early morning. The last thing she said.."adik nak balik"..Hmm..what to say?

We are going to fetch her this Friday and we will see. My husband does not mind she coming back ( he is mellowed with Ayuni). As for myself..I too don't mind she coming back. The only thing is I don't want her to regret her decision. Whatever, she should be the one to decide. It's her life. I just want to he happy.