Wednesday, September 29, 2021



I am counting the days..

Now, alone in the friends are either taking leave or working in the other office. The separation of these two districts is final. One of my friends had received a letter officially appointing her to move back to Muallim. The office is very close to her house and I am glad she does not have to travel far every day. May be through this she can give her focus on her task since that distance will not be an issue any more. 

Another friend is hoping to get transferred there too as promised by the head. However, due to last minute thought  by the head, he did not get what he wishes for. This creates tension and uneasiness for both parties. The other friend stays here as this is his home town.

And me...?

I just look... like an old book in the shelf. Mine is over soon. Not that long to go until I will be taken off from the shelf  or rather me my self surrender to be moved to the unwanted trays of books. I will gladly call it a day because I can't wait to be an outsider to this office.

I could see that things are slowly settle down by it self. Those who went all the way to get promoted to the posts they like, may get what they want. Those who are making it a target to stay in power, may be will stay in power. Some wanting more power, but could note get it, get frustrated .. but keep on trying and tying pushing, lobbying, any obvious until it became pathetically sad. I still could not fathom of why they are doing so...because the more power you have, the more responsibilities will come with it..It scares me..and that's why higher post is not in my agenda. I rather withdraw far from it.

Sorry my ex-boss..your wish will not come true. 

And soon, I will be free. And I cut all the string, especially with you.


Sunday, September 12, 2021

Buzy.. But still sad.

 I have got tons of things to do.. Filling in forms.. Hundred of pages to read.. To put my signature on.. Many places to go.. And a lot of money to spend..Oh Allah The Almighty.. Please help me.. Ease my burdens..and make things easy for me and all..

However, when I am alone or at night before closing my eyes, I will remember..

Sadness.. I wonder when will it go away  from  my heart.. The pain, the hurt still burning inside.

Sometimes too much and still making me cry..

If only there would be a way to stop the misery, I would have taken it.. 

Please Allah.. I have enough.. I beg You..let it be gone from my mind, my heart.. 

😭 Wut.