Saturday, October 20, 2012

The old story

My husband and our fruit of love..

I was cooking the late lunch today when my second child asked if we could go to night market near our house. Fine, I said. I was busy the whole week and spent very little time with family. My daughter has just finished her PMR exams and she needed to relax.

My husband was just fallen asleep but he woke up to bring us out. Pity him. Running here and there for us but he does not complaint nor he puts a face. That's one good thing about him. For me, he would go to the sky and picks up the moon and plucks the stars. He seldom says " I love u" to me but he does whatever it takes to make me comfortable, never complaints if I asked to eat out, never disturbs me if he sees me sleeping, and ever willing to help me with the house chores anytime. Not to praise him too much but that's the truth. When he was having dinner just now, I kept him company. I looked at his face and thought I was so lucky. He asked me why was I staring at him. I love you, I answered.

Well, I was a bit sidetracked to the original story. Something happened at the night market. Something which makes me thinking and remembering someone. We reached the night market around 5.30 p.m. We just wondered around and later I bought some drinks. I stopped to have a chat with the makcik selling the drink since I knew her quite well. My daughter suddenly said.. "Mom..look at there, in front of you. Abah.." I could not digest the word "Abah" until few seconds later. Yes, my ex was there too. I saw him..the second time after seven years. The first time was a few months ago..when we came face to face. I was dumbfounded at that first time but this time I saw him from far.

He looked unhealthy, he was limping (he has severe gout), and very poorly dressed. His hair has nearly gone and he was fatter, much fatter compared to the time when he was my husband. I felt nothing towards him now. After all the years have gone by, all traces of any feeling been washed out. I just felt strange seeing him. I just hope that he would be happy with his new life and new wife. He used to complaint that I was not good enough for him, so I hope this new lady brings him happiness. As for me, I am very happy and content with my life now. I don't care that he does not give money for the children. That's between him and Allah. The children are happy with their ayah and the ayah is also adoring them so much.

That's why I stared at my husband's face just now. I am so happy to be with you, my love. And thank you so much for lifted me up to the highest position ever in my life..of being your wife.

Thank You Allah..I am so grateful.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Year end mood..

So luv

 Time fast I could not believe that the year is reaching the end soon. The office has caught the busy mood swing..including me. However, somehow I managed to sit down quietly sometimes during the day and think.. My mind went wild..and one of the things that came into my mind is am I ready to die? In what way would I die? Illness? What kind? What about my kids? And so on..and so on. Thinking about the age is catching up every day with us...but still we do not do anything serious to prepare for the final day. Hmm..

Well, that was just a thought. Very soon I will celebrate my husband's too. I have thought of the present for him. I will buy it as soon as I  have money. As for my self, I don't expect him to buy anything expensive. We should save money. We have a big plan next year and Am is going to futher his study too.

Got to stop. Aurora wants to sleep. She is restless now.

Till then. Good nite.

Monday, October 8, 2012

To my dearest are Two Years Old..

The birthday 2 years
In ayah's arms..laughing.

Two days ago we celebrated Aurora's second birthday...just a simple cake to mark the day. My love, you have been with us for two most memorable years of our lives. Since you were in my womb, you have been loved dearly...and even more cherished every day since you came into my hand 6 Oct 2010. There is no word to describe how much you bring happiness into my life. I feel I am blessed every time I hug you. I could never thank Allah enough for giving me you, grant you health and blessing us... your mum, dad, sister and brother... a chance to enjoy your existence. May this happiness last forever..

We could not celebrate Aurora's birthdays with a party or presents. My son could not come back last week end and my elder daughter is on her last minute preparation for the PMR, starting tomorrow. We will do some thing to celebrate her birthday right after the exam is over and when the brother comes back.

My heart beats extra faster because my two children are sitting for their exams. I pray hard for their success. I could only pray. The rest is up to them.

Thursday, October 4, 2012


I have been thirsty for many days already. I drink a lot of water but still not enough. Never before I ordered two glasses of ice-lemon tea and finished both. This was the first time. I don't know what has happened to my body but I need water..I drink in the office canteen, I bought several bottles of mineral water to spare in my room..I even carry water bottles from home. However,I don't really want to eat. I have lost my appetite. Like this morning I skipped breakfast..but I drank a lot. Even that much water goes inside my body, still my lips cracked and bleed. The sign of lacking fluid but how come?

Last night around 11 o'clock I called up my brother who is flying today from Senai Airport together with his wife performing Hajj. I spoke normal at first but when I was asking for his forgiveness before his departure, I broke up..I cried. He too was trying hard to control his emotion but all of us, brother n sisters, can't help but to remember our mother who went to Mecca 12  years ago and passed away there..never come back. And now it his turn to go. To  have the chance to see her grave there but most important to perform Hajj, a must act as a Muslim..the fifth pillar of Islam. I asked him to pray for me and my husband to be given a chance to go there soon. Asked him to pray for my happiness and my children's success in their exams which are around the corner.

I hanged up the phone still sobbing and all night long I could not sleep well, thinking about him and my mother.

Dear brother, Muhd Azahari and wife Sis June..go and accept Allah's invitation to visit His home with much humble thought and gratitude ...and please come home safely with Haji Mabrur..I am so happy for both of you because clearly you are chosen..