Sunday, March 27, 2011


On Friday afternoon I was asked to pick up an important letter from the big boss. I knew it was the long awaiting letter of transfer. My boss called me in in her room. I spoke for a while with her..let go some of my unhappy feeling towards her and her way of running the organization..Well i don't know whether she could take my advice or not. It's up to her..I am leaving the office for good but I just pity some of dear friends who are left behind.

I have not yet discovered what I actually feel about moving out. I still have two weeks to go before finally say goodbye. So let me experience the last two weeks...testing my real feeling..testing my friends' feelings..I just like to see first. But deep inside I feel relief..I am going..I actually leave after 11 years working there. Goodbye..

Thursday, March 17, 2011


I am going for a three day and two nights course..nights? Two nights? Can I survive tow days sleeping without my baby? Can my husband survive three days and nights without me..? He alone taking care of our baby? Hmmmm..still go or not to go? Quite far to commute everyday..and the road is very dark and scary to travel alone at nights..even during broad daylight.

However I tell myself it is all for a good get something you have to sacrifice..this is my sacrifice for my family..I have to go..but still if there are friends who commute, I will try my best to do the same..May Allah be with me.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The long postponed move..

Finally I have made up my mind. I am going to move my daughter to another school. The one she is schooling in nowadays is not applicable to her anymore. So for me it's better she moves out. Since school holiday is starting, I will fill up the transfer form tomorrow and when school reopens she will study in different school. It will less hassle for me since the new school is nearer to home and good for me too..less gossip and less heartache..

And soon I will move out too. It's high time to do so..the pain is unbearable..I have read somewhere that "hijrah" is bringing good things..and good things are the one I need the most..especially now..


Sunday, March 6, 2011

Time flies...5 months!

Sleeping while still holding the booties..hehe

She loves to put her legs up and pull the sock out.

Aurora is five months..five! Seems so fast..I could still remember exactly what happen the day she was born..still remember the chaos..the pain..the sweet smell of her cheek pressed to mine. Tomorrow is her appointment with her doctor. I hope she will be okay..I can't imagine she will catch fever with me still not 100 percent well with my hypertension.

I will be busy this morning with ironing to do and later we will off to town to buy few things including Am's birthday presents. My son will in two days time turn 16. A young man already. He is not asking for anything fancy anymore. We used to buy him Gundam models (he loves to keep them) which cost hundreds of ringgit for his birthdays but not this time. He is not a gadget boy like his cousin and friends who would surely ask for new hand phone or i-pod or lap-top. He is a quiet boy and very selective when it comes to pick friends. In a way I like that, but sometimes I asked him to go out and mix around. I want him to have a normal boy's life but he is not keen on them. He prefers to stay at and origami. Yes.. he loves origami and we bought him many expensive origami books. He could follow the steps in folding papers to create flowers, animals and other objects even all the instructions in English. Even I could not understand them but surprisingly he could. Well, we do not have any idea what to buy for him this time but he told me he needed new wardrobe..pants and t-shirts. May be we will buy that and I will bake a cake and have special dinner for him that day.

I could feel it's going to be more hectic and tiring next week. My boss would surely asking us to work harder. However as I have said in my previous heart has gone away..I am not happy anymore to be there. I want to move out and I will do whatever to make my wish come true. May Allah show me the way.Once bitten, twice shy. This time it hurts me a lot. I'd better go before I feel sadder.

The only people who still be with me forever..provide happiness and love my family.