Saturday, July 17, 2021

The leaves are falling..


Few nights ago, I was at the weakest time of my life. I had vomited non stop for 2 weeks and I had no energy left in my body. I had been warded but when I came home, it all started again.

I prayed hard. 

Allah The Almighty, if You want to take me now, it will be not a second late and not a second early. But please let me finish my mission that is to pay all my loans and then to see my family taken care of financially. To see Am flying off to Netherlands to further his Master degree this September, to see Ayuni doing her chambering in court and to see my husband and Aurora survive with my pension. 

I don't mind joining my mom even though I am truly, truly scared to meet YOU. I am not a very diligent Muslim but I am spending the last two years to be close to YOU. Please forgive me Allah for all along the way to find you I had been sidetracked for a while. 

I slept and today I am feeling better. 

I realised one thing.. I am not just physically ill but my soul is in pain.. So much so until I come to point of no return. 

Allah chose I don't die that night but who can tell.. My leaves are dropping.. Fast. 

This song above is telling my stories..