Today I felt lost. I was dragged back to the old time..old stories..sad stories.
Last night I received a cal which was odd and impossible.. Come to think of it. From her.. The widow of my ex husband. He passed away last year due to long Covid.
That day my ex sister in law who had managed a few months before, to get my phone number from a ' friend' of mine ( whom I will never forgive), had messaged me telling and asking my children and me ( possibly) to pay a visit to her ailing brother ( my ex) at the hospital.
I could not go as my husband was away on a fishing trip with the friends.. Without any telephone line, to ask his permission from. Am was in Netherlands and Andok was on duty for a court case.
He passed away the next day and was buried at his wife's village.
He had never seen my children for nearly 20 years.. Never actively and financially involved in bringing up the children.. Never contacting the children..even in Hari Raya.. He disappeared altogether with his new family even he stayed around 20 km from us.
In a way he deserved not to meet my children for the last time.. Never managed to ask for forgiveness for he had abandon his fatherly duties long long time ago.. I am a bit harsh but that is Allah' s Fate.. For when he was well and the children were around, he avoided them..he ignored them.
I had many sad and heartbroken times when filling in forms for my children education loans especially from MARA.. for the part of father's info was always empty..and getting calls from MARA as they did not belived that my ex was lost without ' nafkah' or personal info. Many times I cried sorrowfully as if the children were horn without a father.
To be continued..
Wut
