Tuesday, February 26, 2019

Happy Birthday my son..


Am had been complaining about his phone for many months. He is not only using the phone to communicate but nowadays more for Grabbing. Last Saturday he had a frustration day trip when during grabbing the phone could not be charged. Without phone, he could not log on to the net and of course can not use the Waze application. He went home sadly meaning he could not earn extra cash that day.

On Sunday, after many weeks of trying to get hold of the phone he wants ( he does not expecting it) - Honor Play, we went and met at Ikea Cheras to celebrate his birthday early and presented him the phone. He was sad and happy at the same time. Happy for getting a new phone, and sad because the money he gave to his mother was used to buy the phone.

Am, you are my son. I know you since you were  inside my womb. You are a good son and I know you want to make me happy. However, my love to you and your sisters are beyond words. Not just a phone but I will give you my life if I have just to make sure you and your sisters are happy.

Happy Birthday my make me proud.

Friday, February 22, 2019

Are you that good?

From Gooogle
I was asked to help in a case handled directly by the District Counselor. It involved a Senior Leader's misconducts thus creates a conflict among other leaders and the boss. Actually, very rarely I was at awe at peoples' attitude and behaviour but this time I was struck with a new experience in dealing with people. We had a short discussion and she was telling us her side of story. Of course, she was blaming others but not herself. I went around getting information and I found out that she was not telling every thing. She left out the most important part of why in the first place she committed the wrong doing.

I always remind my self, never in any condition, presumed any thing. Check and check. Never say bad words in any discussion, never attack any body even when I have the power to do so. However, this case was different. I had listened to her blaming others on every thing especially her boss. This time I spoke directly. I could not restrain myself.

I had been once, a leader too. Several advise to her are ;  if you want to be respected..learn to respect others. If you want to lead, first learn to to be led. If you act, expect  certain reactions to your actions. If you point your finger to others, other fingers will point to you. There are many ways to reach your goal, but the one that makes all the difference  is which one you choose to reach it. What ever way you choose, choose the one less hurting others because even if  you will reach your goal, you will sure to lose them. And when they have had enough, they will strike you back.

In any place she has gone in her service, all her bosses had lost the argument battle with her.  She was never quiet before. She always win. But this time, she was speechless. I was giving her a medicine.

A bitter one.

Friday, February 15, 2019

The Road Not Taken..

I chose the one less travelled by...
Google Image

I like the poem, the above title, very much. The poet Robert Frost describes the choices in life which is very well written. When I have reached this age, I began to recall the choices I made in life. Some choices were not chosen by myself, its more because of others who had decided things for me. And I followed because I did not have the power to choose. I was weak. I let others to overpower me.

Later in life,there was this one thing I had chosen, purely on my own. However, nowadays I began to feel like I am the persona in the poem..The Road Not Taken. I began to wonder have I made the correct choice. I am sad..because I can not go back to the other road..

Till then..

Monday, February 11, 2019


Last Saturday night, I was preparing to lie down and call it a day, when my phone beep. A message appear on WS. No written word, only captions of father's day card. I noticed the card was from my girl to her father some 15 years ago..yes..her real dad, my ex.

The message really threw me off my guard. I had never expected after some 13 years, my ex came back into my life. After 13 years he ignored my kids, does not give money for "nafkah" ( I only notice few months ago, some money had been transfered into my account. I knew it was his, but I don't care because for more than 10 years he had never comply to his duties as father..not just money wise but others..none whats so ever. And I stop hoping he would play his part as father. Moreover, he had married to his present wife and have two kids with her. And me, I am very happy with my life now..and I don't need his money to support my kids's education. Let's bygone be bygone.

That night I could not sleep, I have lost my appetite to eat..and my mood gone into the drain. One question came to my mind?


Few expected answers:-
1)  He suddenly realize he got two kids..big kids now..who can support him? Help him? Take care of him?
2)  He is lonely and sick ..after 13 years? And where does the present wife stand?
3)  He wants to get back to my kids..the children he forgets some 15 years ago? A new awareness?
4)  He is having crisis with the present wife? And do I care?


Monday, February 4, 2019

Towards the end of a journey...

My partner..

My colleague is saying sayonara to the service in a few months time. Actually he is counting the days to the day he says good bye. He will be not  around for the last few weeks because he will start holidaying  and resting at home then fly off to Mecca performing Umrah. How I wish I was him..

Such a very lucky person he is. Still very active and healthy except some minor sickness once in a while. I will miss our professional talks. The fact that he is a very intelligent man making me enjoy our discussions which seldom touch personal matters but more towards our task as officers. He is very good in programming instruments or technical jargon whereas I am good in language. He prepares the program and I fix the language. Such a good and compatible partnership.

Now he is going which leaving me sad. I will surely miss his help in running things..his vast experiences..his big ideas..his understandings....and his comical jokes which are enlightening in this jungle of office politics.

And me..will be losing a good partner. I will be more withdrawn into my silence. I really wish the day for my retirement come sooner because to be frank some of my mood to come to this office will be gone together with him. I know a good partner will never come twice in life especially to this old age, assimilation is never a simple task.

Goodbye Tn Hj will feel that you will not be missed by others but not to me..

Till then...