My leaves of life keep turning yellow and falling to the ground fast..
Sometimes I experience moments when I feel this is it.. I am not scared anymore even though I dread the day of meeting my creator..
I have no regrets.,no more hopes and dreams to look forward. I have everything I need and the best life Allah has decided upon me. I am redha..
So Allah The Greatest..
Call me when it is the time.
I am ready..
Wut
It is also known as Ironwood and the flowers is so swee smelling frangrans until I stop my walk to admire them.
This is the first time ever since I started walking in this recreational park that this trees bear flowers.. Small in clumps but dear me, it is so sweet smell until I stopped looking for the source and saw the. Such a blessto be able to see them today..
Thank you Allah.. You are the Greatest!
Eut
It has been few months.. I am quietly follow my routine.. Going out early to send Aurora to school.. Have breakfast with my hubby and later brisk walking.. Or rather slowly wander around the recreational area. Sometimes my sister came to join me and usually we stop by my brother's house for a chat about their cats, chickens, vegetables over coffee or homemade kuih and finally go home.
It is not an interesting life but it is not boring. Ramadhan came with me trying my best not to get sick or warded like last year. I managed and Eidul Fitri was celebrated simple but meaningfully. Th kids came back and with their help, I successed to cook raya dishes and few cookies.
Now the house grow silent since I spend most of the time sleeping or doing my things in the bedroom. Sometimes playing with our new kitten Manggo.
Old age comes with a variety of sickness and I wonder which one will take me away for good. I am not ready but will be ready when the time comes.
I surrender myself to You Allah The Greatest.. I will wait for my turn..
Wut
We have been friends through blogging for so long. Sha came with Net to my hometown some 13 years ago. They stayed for 2 days here and later I visited Sha at her old house in Sg Long. Then we did not see each other more than decade.
So many things happened with that time. I became the Headmistress and then later in an education officer and after 4 years I opted out.. Retired. And Sha has been all over the world, working and travelling. Our communication is through comments coloum in this blog..only sometimes.
Last week I saw her status and said hi. Asking where would she be as we were planning to stay t Am's house for the weekend. She replied and invited us to her home Friday morning.
She prepared delicious nasi lemak and other food which we loved so much. We chatted for quite a while and later we went back with some food to bring home for Am.
Sha.. Thank you so much for your warm hospitality ad hope to see you again soon. I hope the next meeting will not wait another 13 years coz I probably will not be around at that time.
Aurora is now a big girl Net. We miss u too.
Wut
I am a loyal person.. Most of my friends have IG account or Tik Tok or at least FB. I have none of that. My phone just for What apps or Telegram which is now very seldom used after my retirement.
I keep a very low profile and have very limited friendship circle, just few old friends to contact once in a while. Only few old colleagues come for a visit or having tea sometimes. Most of my time spent at home, or go for a routine morning walk and later stopped by my brother's house for a chat or makan makan and go home later on.
My life is simple. My husband has become my closest friend.. Go for a ride around and he is so patiently driving me any where for food tasting and looking out for new places.
The only thing I keep since 15 years go as to communicate even one sided, is this blog. I don't mind if the readers are not expanding or have any desire to collect readers because the blog is actually my space to write about my experience and my feelings.. Not so interesting because all my entries are real stories . All my feeling are real and I don't pretend to be somebody else to gain popularity.
So. I wonder until when this blog will exist.. Until when I will write.. I just hope that who ever come across this blog and read the entries will know some how in this big world I have existed once.
Till then....Welcome to the new year 2026
Wut
Siblings can be heartless sometimes..
Some demand to be heard, to be listened, to be cared about her feelings but some how fail to do the same to others.. So self centered.
True.. They are born from the same parents but when they are married they turn to be different people. The word siblings does not carry weight when your spouse have different views. You are not my my sibling any more but you are somebody's wife. So I rest my case.
Blood is NOT thicker than water.. In fact sometimes water is cooling but blood is hurting..
Mak.. I have done my part. I surrender.
Allah the Al Mighthy.. Forgive me for I am sinned. I am tired to be assumed.. I have my right to heal myself.. So all my doas are for me only start from now on.
Wut
No.. It's not the novel written in 1980s.. It's just my little prayer that sometimes in near future, I will go back to my Creator hoping that my coming back will be smooth and be welcomed.
As a small fish, I have been a survival in this strong current river for some times like eternity. And I long to rest my tired and beaten body in a deep slumber in which I hope a blissful one.
Of course I am scared to death meeting Him with all my sins but I am in a brink of losing any hope and sanity.
For the time being, I am doing any thing I can as to pay my debts and be ready.
Dear Allah The Almighty.. Only You knows me and only You knows when the time comes.
Until then..
Wut
