Tuesday, January 21, 2014

A little update..on my toddler.

My love..Aurora
I have not written for a long time about my a toddler...3 years plus. Aurora is a big girl..quite tall, 94 cm. She weighs around 17 kilos and it breaks my back to carry her. It is a serious case of muscle cramps on my arms every time she  sleeps on my lap in the car. We have her usual small and well-loved mattress spread on the next seat but many time she had difficulties to fall  asleep there. She wanted to be cuddled, to be kissed, to listen to my reading of Al-Fatihah, the three Quls, Kursi..and slowly she would close her eyes especially on long journeys. I am amazed on how well she adapts to uncomfortable situations..she has never grumble or complaints, whimpers or cries if her sleep is disturbed or to be cut short. She could quickly feels refresh and smiles even she is still sleepy and wants to sleep longer. Sometimes I pity her when she was sleeping soundly, our car journey had ended or we had arrived to our destination and she had to wake up. However, every time she took it well. She is really a sweet, easy to handle and very understanding toddler.

Her vocabulary...still prefers English to BM. She speaks very little Malay. One or two words. Nowadays, she is able to construct simple sentences..two words sentences. For example, (moving her fingers to her mouth). Meaning she is hungry. Or..Mummy..tummy (showing her tummy). Meaning she is full. Mummy..look..the blue bus. Or, Mummy...ayah gone (meaning her dad had gone out). When we makes jokes and she laughs she would say...funny...Mummy funny. Many times I was suprised with her word choice. She could pick up a big word and used it correctly.  She is very expressionistic..her facial expressions accompany every word she utters.

Now that her brother is at home, he is the one to play the toy golf set with her or to play football. She likes to play hide and seek with her dad. When she really wants something she would make the cute face, wrinkle her eyebrows, her fingers come together..and say...please..please. Immediately her dad melts..hehe. Now she demands a new toy every time we pass by the sundry shop near our house. Talking about could fill up a small  room. Every time she did some thing wrong  she would apologise and says..sorry mum, or sorry yai (ayah). One thing I could not say no to her is when she comes to me, kiss my hand, my lap, my arms..she loves me dearly..I know. However, her dad is her number one favourite person, in fact my husband is her every thing. She kisses her dad countless time but with me she treats me special in her own way. She kisses her dad every where on his face but to me she kisses me on my lips..Not with her dad, she won't do that.  In that way, I win..hehe.

I have started my campaign to send her to Taska. My husbands refused. He reasoned that we should wait one more year. He said Aurora is still a baby. She is still a baby to me but I wanted her to mix with other kids so she could develop bigger vocabs and have more friends. I will try to coax my husband later..

In short, she is growing up well. A bit slow compared to other kids of her age but she is a fast learner. Looking at her now..singing with her toy microphone making me smile and my heart feel warm and glow with love and gratefulness. Thank You Allah. She is a real gift.. a rare one.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Life is a Ferris Wheel..

I read in Net's blog and she mentioned that life is a Ferris wheel. I am not sure that my story here is considered "a ferris wheel" story but let's not judging people..Allah knows better and only He is the best Judge..

A couple of weeks before I was busy running the office when my clerk  knocked on my door telling me that there was someone wanted to see me. Fine, I said. Let he/she come in. He came inside. Immediately I noticed him. How could you forget a face that had made you sad and feel down.

14 years ago I had transferred here on an emergency ticket. I had made a police report on my ex-husband who had beaten me, harassing me and my two young children...4 and 2 years...making my life miserable and alone to his emotional and physical attacks. My boss there..a lady, had used her cables to put me to transfer at a 24-hour notice. I was helped by many people in the process and finally I had settled down here..finally at peace.

Later, after several months of settling down, I went to an ustaz's house. All I asked from him was to accept my children as his students to learn Muqaddam..Idham was 5 and Ayuni was 3..He said no..he had too many students he explained. I begged..please accept at least Idham. I knew he did not have many students as he hadmentioned. I knew it was a lame excuse.. And the wife was an ustazah. They were both teaching Muqaddhamto the  children in that area. Whatever I said, he kept on saying no. That was it. I went home. I cried. Just because I was a single mother, people looked down on me cynically.

I managed to get another ustaz far from my house but thinking that was my responsibility to give my children religious knowledge, I went on until they finished studying Al-Quran. I bought a house far from the place and I didn't see the ustaz who rejected my children until now.

He came into my room and asked for my signature as a witness because he is applying to further his study doing degree in local uni. Even though  I had a strong urge to reject him and tell him to go and see my boss to be a witness instead of me, I told myself don't do that to people. Let's not making people's life difficult. Let's not give back to him the same words he said to me 14 years ago. He suddenly asked me whether I was his neighbour in my old residential area. I simply said yes. I was sure he too could recall our encounter. He noticed me. He remembered his rejection. I said nothing else.

Then few days ago I heard the news that he had divorced the wife the ustazah and married another lady who happened to sit next to me in our meeting in KK. That was how I knew he had a divorce because I until now I am not a busy body person looking for juicy gossip. A divorce can happen to anyone..even to ustaz and ustazah.

Yeah, life is a ferris wheel. Allah is fair. Once I was on the begging side, the sadder it was his turn. We were all in the same position. The only difference was, I was not cruel like him. I entertained him because it was Allah who put me on the top now and He is also the One who  put anybody including the ustaz at  the bottom when He wants.

Thank you Allah for giving me patience and strenght to put away my sad years behind. Thank You.

Wednesday, January 1, 2014 it comes

                                                      From google..

I had finished 2-days-meeting in a row. Very hectic but I felt better compared to last year's. May all be well this new year...May Allah grant me health to perform my countless duties, may all my children be happy and healthy, may our marriage be blessed with love and happiness forever. And may Allah grant all of you my friends and readers a happy and fulfilling year ahead. Take care.

Tomorrow we will Ayuni back to hostel. I will be lonely again.