All Along the Way..: October 2016

Sunday, October 30, 2016

The wind of change..

I have been neglecting this blog for many many months. Not that I have lost my passion on putting new entry nor lost my mood in writing. I still do but the everyday routines take up most of my time, sometimes I just drive as fast as I could so I could reach home every afternoon after work, have something to eat then doze off. The next morning wake up early to start the day with the same routine..again and again. No time to read, more to write..and one thing, Aurora keeps her eyes on my phone everytime I get home. She loves my phone as it is wide enough to see her favourite videos..my little pony..

She is a big girl now. Speaks fluent English..suprises me many time with her bombastic words. She could speak Malay too, even it sounds funny to me. Her Malay pronunciations is odd and takes a lot of effort to utter a single meaningful sentence. However for her parents, it is very good enough. She is improving everyday.

She is taller n her lively chatter welcomes me home. On my way home, while driving, thinking of her makes me smile. I could not wait to reach home to kiss her cheeks and to smell her hair..sweet smell and it is a relief to be able to hug her.

My big girl Anduk is away in Shah Alam to do her
degree in law. She needs to struggle as it is quite a tough course but then it is her choice. I am proud of her because she is a small girl physically but with a very strong heart and determination to success. She does not have any trouble in taking care of herself, to mix well with her friends and to study hard as a law student.

Am has graduated last week. A diploma holder, the best student in his course. I am happy that he earned Dean List every semesta so I hope he will get a sponsorship to do his degree..he dreams to go to NZ. I really hope he would get his wish. I pray for him hard.

I am getting older. Next 2 week I will celebrate my birthday..another year has passed and still I have not gotten to be the person I wish to be. Not that I mean richness or better post. I am happy the way I am now. The only thing I miss is to be closer to Allah, to be able to perform more kindness and be a more obidient servant to Him. I too need to take care of my health. My legs are always in pain, my joints hurt everytime I get up from sleep. Aurora notices it. Aurora said to me in the car just now, " Mummy, dont get old. Be younger. I need you longer". Such a deep sentence from a very young girl. True enough, she is very perceptive and very much matured compared to her age. She understood death. Once she notice a gray hair on my head. She asked why gray? I told her I am getting old. She cried.

Allah the most gracious and the most merciful, please give my baby the chance to enjoy me as her mother long enough until she could be on her own. Right now she needs me. She comes into my life bringing so much joy and happiness. She heals my pain and giving me reason to survive. Now she sees me as her saviour and her angel but most is she loves me as I am her mummy. Simple but yet that is the best reason.