Cameron Highlands, cupcakes and Aurora..

Vanilla cupies

Am's cake

Lamb Chop for birthday's dinner

Happy to get the present

Aurora getting vege jer..alaa

Manja with brother la tu..

The brother and sister playing pool

Aurora running here and there..

We celebrated Am birthday a few days late...waiting for him to be at home. We bought birthday present, MP3, since he likes listening to musics while doing maths questions (hmmmm...hehehe..). I could not think how could you study and listen to musics at the same time? However, I just follow. I cooked something special for him and bought a cake for him from Secret Recipes.

Today, my son will go back to hostel early. He said he wanted to finish doing the homework at hostel since he could not do so at home..Hmm..yerlah tu..

Even though it was school holiday, we did not go traveling much except going to Cameron to cool our selves
( even it was hot and humid in Cameron). We did spent quality time together..sightseeing..sampling the food in small eateries there..or just simply watching  Aurora running here and there..enjoying herself to the fullest.

I baked a batch of cupcakes for my colleague who had transfer ed to Putrajaya. It was seen by another colleague, so I baked another batch for her. People asked me, how could I made an effort to do so since it was free of charge. I said..I like to feed people and make people happy getting something. An honest thank you is enough for me.

Aurora is getting heavier. The trip to Cameron was almost unbearable for me. She slept on my lap all along the journey. When we arrived at home I could not stretch my hand and feet. They were numb and so painful. Luckily after some massage they were fine. Next long trip we need to buy a child car seat for her.

Not well..

I have not feeling well this last couple of weeks. Flu and fever made my whole body aching especially at the joints. Thankfully I survived and it is gone without affecting Aurora.

Been busy as usual. I went to work, having meeting almost every day, seeing new people, working with them opened my eyes. They are very hardworking and very precise in doing things. They set up a good example and I should follow.

During working I had to be in close contact with the person. I felt odd..I thought I have managed to get it over but apparently some still stay inside my heart. And the sadness came again today watching..

May be the idea of leaving this place is not  bad after all. I have to go.

Motivation?

Mak and Am

I had lectured Am on his lacking of effort to study. He is sitting for SPM this  year and I didn't see much effort from him nor much attention given by him towards his books. He spends more time watching movies he downloaded from the net.

When I asked him the reason, he answered that he needs motivation....then he is slower than his friends who just need to read for a while whereas he needs to read hundred times...he has no mood to study at home..a various reasons..excuses. Hmm..Am, you are living in the easy world to be compared with me who struggled in a hard time to be the person I am now. I am not rich, my son, but I can live on my own and never to burden my parents in any way.

My parents are not rich..very humble people. One thing that is different from others is they paid a lot of attention on their children's study. Lucky my father thinks education is the way to break the circle of poverty. I had my share of studying hard for every exams in my life..right from SRP until University. It was not easy Am.

The things I have now are coming from the sacrifice of every body especially your grandmother. She did not have the chance to get higher education but she could read well. Reading was her hobby. She would read any book after finishing the house chores. She gave me inspiration to be a better person..to get out and get a better life than she had.  She could not help me on my study but every time I studied especially whenever I was sitting for an important exam..like STPM..she would stay up with me to keep me company. She was tired the whole day helping my father at oil palm plantation..doing house work..but still keeping me company at night. It broke my heart seeing her sitting with her eyes closed...later slept with her arms cushioning her head..while I was reading books next to her. Mak..I love you so much and I miss you a lot. That was why I studied hard Am. I could not afford letting her down.

That was my motivation Am!

Happy Birthday My Son..

Am...in a few hours on  Mac  8 you will be a year older my son. Seventeen years ago you were born..came into my life. Long before you were born, I had dreamt, I had wished for a son. I refused to be told of your gender when I went to scan..it is because I just knew that the baby..you..would be a boy. And I was right.

Am..your opah loved you so much. She used to save the money I sent her every month to buy cloth, to sew on her own., your 'baju melayu' even the old sewing machine gave her much problems and she herself could not see well. But still, she managed to make you the green 'baju melayu' which until now I keep dearly. Your atok kept the rambutans on the tree until they turned deep red longing for you to come back to eat them. And I, your mother willing to give my heart and my soul as long as you will grow up well, be a great man,  to excel in study and in life..be a good and obedient muslim ...in short be happy always.

Am..do study hard for your SPM this year. Your ayah has high hopes on you..he too loves you so much. And if opah was here with us, I am sure she would be proud of you.. the grandson whom she adored since small has now grown up into a sweet and loving young man.

Happy  17 th Birthday my son..our love for you will always be in abundance.

Fatigue..

With her bubbles

Her little legs..hehehe (mak dia tada keje la ni)

Her little hand...(memang la tada keje lain mak nye)..hehe

Blabbering time...

Manja ayah ni..

It has been more than a week I didn't write. Not that I didn't try to write or dried up with ideas. I did try to put new entry but every time there must be interruptions making me stopped halfway. There are many things had happened last week..and will more to come I suppose..but all these made me tired. Sometimes I just went to sleep even though physically I was not that tired. .When I could not bear the tension and stress at work...sleeping is just the best way to stop thinking. And I thank Allah the Most Gracious to grant me a good sleep..and it comes so easy without me turning and tossed around.

In less than a hour my baby Aurora will turn 17 months. She is sleeping peacefully now. I am glad to see her growing up well. A few days ago she was not feeling well..a mild fever because she is teething..not one tooth but a few in one shot. She whimpered and wanted to be carried all the time. My weekend was spent pampering her and following her wishes. That was another reason for me to be so tired. However now she comes back to her real self..smiling and cooing..blabbering nonsense which for me the sweetest sound on earth...my baby..your presence heals my pain..the best thing that had happened to me. Thank you Allah. Thank You.

Facebook menace

This week was only filled up with meetings and troubles.

Almost everyday I had meeting..sometimes until late in the evening. If I just go and sit and listen and later do nothing it would only cause me bored . However if before meeting I had to prepare a lot of things, explained many things during meetings and later after meeting tons of tasks follow up...it caused fatigue until I ready to collapse as early as 8 o'clock at night.  And to make things worse, this coming week, I will be busier than ever. Please help...!!!

I don't have a Facebook account. I simply don't want other people to know me more than I want them to. Nevertheless, my husband has one and now it gives me ( the wife ) a lot of pressures. Some of his  family members are using the fb to send stupid comments and some are very childish. It involved my husband,of course. As an outsider I just keep myself quiet..let them have their fits, but I admit I am not happy with this. Facebook is supposed bring them together not the opposite.

Aurora Johanna's update

Eating icecream

Enjoying her ballons

Anak manja ayah..

Lying down...ready to sleep

Sleeping time..so sweet

Last few weeks I have been updating more about other people, my feelings, my work place and less entries about my baby. She is growing up well, weighs around 11 kilos..taller than other babies of her age..cuter..picky about food, but always opens her mouth wide for chicken or fish..spends less time sleeping in the afternoon and sleeps late at night..(yang ni tak tahan nih)..coz the mother's eyes will be blurry around 10 o'clock.

Besides her 'selimut bucuk' she keeps on adding her favourite things to be close to her including all her small pillows..her bed...me..and her ayah. We love u sayang..so much.