First time ever..

I am on the final step of producing my book.. A collection of journals written by my clients. I have spent hundred of hours editing, making corrections, discussing with my fellow editors, contacting The National Library to get the ISBN numbers, dealing with the printing company..with numbers of Google Meet meetings with the graphic designer.. Discussing the front cover etc.. Whoahh.. a big task for a simple book.

And finally, I gave the green light this afternoon to the printing company to go ahead with the last step.. The printing of the book itself.. 

I have enough stress, and I need to move on.. 

Till then.. 

The final...

                                    From the YouTube.. 

 I have no new wish for the new year.. I am just glad that the days had passed faster that I had hoped.. Allah is helping me to fill up my days with activities and my nights are spent on reciting Quran..reading..and sleep. Till I wake up early praying..cooking and prepare to go to work. 

True, I am sad.. Still sad, still cry but I know Allah is listening and my wound is healed slowly.. I mean I do cry but not  that much and I can stand up straight and move.. Every time the memory comes, I let my mind wonder but I quickly tell my self.. You cannot control people.. So don't let people control you.. You are the master of your heart but  Allah owns all the hearts of His servants.. Let Him decide anything.. Let's the wound bleed until all the blood dried up..by the time that passed, one day you will be healed.. 

Let the time rolled on.. And in 11 months I will be free and I will cut all the strings that attach me to this painful memories.. 

A hint?

 During the meeting this afternoon, my unit head had made a decision that I should step down from being the senior partner of SIP+ and let Madam K take my place.

I was stunned. I felt degraded but he said that I should let my processor to practice coz in one year I will retire. I know I will retire but I think I still can lead.. More that 12 months to go and I still can do my best.

I am sad. He can't wait for me to slowly let go, he wants me to let go immediately. 

Yes.. I will go. It seemed I am not important any more. I wish one year will go fast. I will go quietly. 

Goodbye.😭😭😭

Stillest..

 

 From YouTube

Bisikan Hati..

 From You Tube

Happy Birthday My Love..

 My love.. For the last ten years were the best years of my life..

You are the gift from Allah for me after many years of waiting.. I had almost given up that we could have a child and had always wondered that we could never see the face of our baby forever after two miscarriages before.,

Finally when you came as if Allah had granted me my wish to come true and forever I thank Allah for giving me you, my love.. 

Happy Birthday.. You are 10 years old now.. Thank you Allah.. Thank you..

Till then.. 

Little updating..

 She passed.. Yeayyy.. Going to the final semesta..

I am looking foward for both my kids to finish their degrees.. Am is doing practicum.. October will see him graduate.. Ayuni will finally into her last sem.. March next year, it will be over. 

And I.. I will wait for 14 more months..to be finally becoming a free man or a woman to be precise.. 

Time.. Please heal me.. Allah The Almighthy.. Tell time to heal me.. Tell the tress and the million leaves to pray for me.. I can not be in sadness all the time.. I have enough.. I had enough.. This misery is causing my health to detoriarate.. Slowly it is killing me.. 

I have to speak to my friend about this..