I did it!!

Last Thursday I went to meet 2 important person and I said it all. The first person was quite understanding. He listened and only asked a few questions here and there. However the second person apparently had been fed formerly with some wrong information which made me difficult to tell him the truth. This made me miserable. I strongly disagree to the fact that he was bias when giving a statement. He was not in my place and by listening to only one side of story made him a lousy administrator. I wonder why this world is full with these groups of people..worse when they hold higher positions in any organization. No wonder my state is one of the lowest achievers...

And yesterday I received an important news. The movement has started. One of my colleagues has received news that she will be moved to another office. I am sad until today since she was not happy to be transferred and me too. Nevertheless I knew it has to happen because the situation has become under control and I had no choice. Now I am waiting for other movements which for me are critically needed to save this organization. I know I am not the the first boss but whatever I did is for the sake of this office. I had to even I hate to do it. And that's why I despise politics.

Frust..

I am really frustrated..

If only I can get the person who wrote the the letter..I will show her (definitely it is a she)..who is the boss!

I will act with wisdom..I will wait..I will know who is that..then that person will get it from me..I promise she will get a full blow from me..just wait!

How I wish..

2 things I wish for:

1. I am the person I was the first time I stepped into the new office..ignoring all and absorbing all...

2. To have the "care for nothing except myself" attitude..

Then..I will be happier..not like now..pathetically boring person..hurmm

Back to normal..

We started our journey to Jitra, hundreds of kilometers away from my home on Monday morning. Dropped by my sis's house in Sg Petani around noon for lunch and continued driving and finally reached the destination around 4 o'clock. I registered for the course first then immediately went to the home stay. It was a big and clean house and we were comfortable staying there.

Nevertheless,we were not really happy about the food there. May be we didn't find the good spot to eat but overall it was quite distressing finding good, satisfying restaurant for dinner. I didn't spend much time shopping since Aurora tagged along. It was difficult to find free parking lot and the weather was not helping either.

Back to work on Friday. Saw the person but I just ignored everybody all day long especially that person. I felt odd and really,really uncomfortable. This is very annoying..coz even until now I am still remembering..

Untitled..coz I am numb..

Last week my baby caught flu and fever from her brother who came back for three days holidays..then it went wild..the next victim was my hubby who too got sick ..and the to me myself. It was very tiring taking care of one adult who behaved like kid and one baby who of course acted like a baby..crying..wanted to be carried all the way..difficult sessions of giving medicine..and worse I felt like collapsed due to fatigue. Now, after a week my baby gets better but still cries at nights with blocked nose. Pity her to have her sleeps disturbed. However her dad gets better quickly..thank God coz the mother now had finally catches flu..hurmm..at present I was typing my entry with sore throat and uncomfortable blocked nose..

It is decided that we..yes WE (me, my husband, my baby and my elder daughter) will go together to Jitra for my a week course. Now it has become a holiday..not me going for a professional course.. but more like an extended holiday. We had discussed and have come to a conclusion that my hubby alone cannot take care of Aurora..worse now she is not really feeling well. Another reason is to save me from being worried to death thinking about her being left behind. We will be together even it will cost a lot of money for hotel fees and food. However that will keep me sane and my husband will be happier.

Even though I thought that Friday was the last day for me to see that person before I go, but still Allah decided us to meet again this afternoon in one 'open house' occasion. I wonder why our paths crossed? Why? I wish to know the answer soon..

Heart does matter..

It was quite a while I did not write new entry. I was busy and when I was not busy I slept. I slept whenever I could. When you reach this age a woman needs sleep..enough sleep. If not she will get tired..irritated easily and grumpy. Hmm..

For more than two weeks I have been avoiding that person. I do not know how and why..possible because I have been thinking hard about all these a lot. I prayed to Allah to show me the way..the right way.. I forced myself to keep busy..I cut chances to meet that person..even I felt sad but that was the best for us..for me at least. I notice that person noticed the changes but what to do..life goes on..

I am going for a week course. I dread the day I have to leave my baby at home with only my husband to look after her for a week. I will miss her a lot..a lot more than I had ever experienced before. Truly love at the first sight bound my heart with hers. I cant live without her.. However,a week separated from my hubby is a good thing. It is good so that he will learn to miss me back..like he used to..last time. Then he will learn to appreciate my presence ...my existence. It is because since we are so engrossed with Aurora, he seldoms spend quality time with me. So good for me to be away..he will be missing me...at least that's what I expect from him..at least.

11 months!

Our love for her is growing stronger and stronger..my baby.

In a few hours my baby turns to be 11 months old. Nowadays Aurora is very active..starts to push up her small bottom..trying hard to crawl but always falls back to her stomach again and again..So cute and so determined she is coz every time she falls she will get up to her knees and try again. We are so happy to see this and so relieved coz we have been expected her to gain the crawling skill already same like other babies.

She can't be kept still..very difficult to cuddle her since she moves a lot. The only time she keeps still in my arms is when she sleeps in the car. Other than that she is on her own gliding here and there to explore every thing and goes to every corner of the house to find any thing that catches her interest. We have to monitor her closely and with cautious. However we could see she loves bottles..any kind of bottle small or big she loves them..hehehe..what a funny thing coz any toy we bought for her do not interest her but bottles really captivate her attention..

She loves to eat and now wants to taste every thing even raya cookies. Rice porridge is getting her nerves coz she only eats a bit then shaking her head refuses to eat more like she used to. She is getting bigger and thus getting more demanding and picky on her food.

A little about Hari Raya. We spent the first day in KL visiting my hubby siblings and family. It was not so memorable since I didn't really bother to think about them..let them live the way they are..and we the way we are..we are always different..will never be the same.

The second day and so on I was here waiting for my siblings to gather in my home. later we traveled to see my father. Then the rest of the days spent cooking..cooking and cooking until Sunday when finally every body left to start working on Monday. Hmmm..finally I can rest and my kitchen is deserted and the stove can rest too..hehe
Till then..