Since after Eid my room air condition unit does not work. I talked to many personels in this office about this matter..still to no avail. During Friday morning meeting I spoke..for many Fridays..still did not work. They talked about money..no allocation..not enough money..whatsoever..still no improvement. I do not care, whatever money, excuses about stupid SOPs...I JUST WANT THE BASIC facility..air condition..because I can not work here. Even the clerk can not do work when there is no air condition, what more about me? I am one of the officer who hold the highest position in this office, and they dare to ignore my need. Stupid lot!
So, just this morning I told the boss directly in the meeting..the third time in 3 months. I am angry and I want action. Don't give me promises and stupid crap about money and all. I do't care and I do not want to know.
Since that Friday, I did not come in my office. After I clocked in, I went straight to my car and drove off to the next office. Together with my friend I ventured to all schools..still doing my work but never set foot again to the office. I could not do work..my mind was disturbed..my heart was hurt. I know I am no body here, but at least give me the same right that is to have a comfortable place to work.
And now, after 2 weeks complaining and created a heady scene that Friday, finally I am sitting inside my room with cooler air condition. Thank God.
This is a flight of my life..
I know it will not be smooth since I am holding a variety of posts..the Captain..the stewardess..the mechanic..the traffic controller..even the boarding pass or ticket officers. I am.
For my entire life, never ever I am facing the strongest and most crucial turbulence before...like now. A different one..For many years I am an avid reader in a group dealing with marital affairs..conflicts..For many times also, I did ask my self why do I like to read all this craps..I am not going to experience them, so why and why should I I like to read them?
Actually the reading habit is actually preparing me for this..
Of all my knowledge and experience, this really knocks me down into the drain..
O God The Almighty, please help me to get this over. I am helpless without your help. I need you help because now I am suffering ..
Finally, after months of dreading and not looking forward to the day, here it comes. The day I say goodbye to him, my partner. He is retiring next Wednesday. At the end, I will be alone doing this job, the task which I am still learning by hard. I will alone collecting the data, processing the data, taking suitable actions, visiting clients..and go the office with no one to talk to. Practically I will be alone in every sense of words.
I wish I am the one who leaves. I hate being left behind especially to be left in this particular work place. I don't love them nor hate them but sometimes ..wrong..many times..almost all the time I feel lonely in a crowd. No one is considered a friend to me. I am not anti social but with this age, I find hard to assimilate my self in this new place. The last one year was a year of learning my real job, learning to understand data, to analyze them and to take proper action. However now..when he is going I feel I have lost a big portion of my passion to work.
I look forward to retire soon but I have no choice. I still have a lot of responsibilities and commitments with bills and loans to finish. Many times I was thinking to quit but I decided to step back and to wait..to wait at least 3 more years then I call it a quit. But now when he is gone I feel like quitting now.
When he talked about the final day, I could not stop my tears. I did not care crying in front of him even he asked me not to do so. He might feel sad leaving this profession..after 35 years..but not to me. I don't mind leaving this profession even now. I was crying because I am losing some one dear to me. A character that is so mysterious, admired from far and now finally becoming so close to me. I have searched in my entire life for a character to fill up my emptiness and craving for intelligence and when I finally found one, he is taken and worst he is leaving me in a few days.😭
Why do I cried so hard? One last point..which I dare not to jot down here..let it be buried deep deep inside my heart. The song below has the hints..
