The Cut..

 

Soon, a few months to go..

I will make the final cut..that is letting go of every thing..letting you go.

And you will have to let me go..I have had enough.

Dot.

Bila yang tertulis untukku
Adalah yang terbaik untukmu
'Kan kujadikan kau kenangan
Yang terindah dalam hidupku

Namun takkan mudah bagiku
Meninggalkan jejak hidupmu
Yang t'lah terukir abadi
Sebagai kenangan yang terindah…

Wuthering Height.

It's a dream.. In a dream

 From YouTube..

Yes.. I had a dream.. Still dreaming.. 

Inside..

 

                                                

                                       And I hate the memories..I wish to forget all

First time ever..

I am on the final step of producing my book.. A collection of journals written by my clients. I have spent hundred of hours editing, making corrections, discussing with my fellow editors, contacting The National Library to get the ISBN numbers, dealing with the printing company..with numbers of Google Meet meetings with the graphic designer.. Discussing the front cover etc.. Whoahh.. a big task for a simple book.

And finally, I gave the green light this afternoon to the printing company to go ahead with the last step.. The printing of the book itself.. 

I have enough stress, and I need to move on.. 

Till then.. 

The final...

                                    From the YouTube.. 

 I have no new wish for the new year.. I am just glad that the days had passed faster that I had hoped.. Allah is helping me to fill up my days with activities and my nights are spent on reciting Quran..reading..and sleep. Till I wake up early praying..cooking and prepare to go to work. 

True, I am sad.. Still sad, still cry but I know Allah is listening and my wound is healed slowly.. I mean I do cry but not  that much and I can stand up straight and move.. Every time the memory comes, I let my mind wonder but I quickly tell my self.. You cannot control people.. So don't let people control you.. You are the master of your heart but  Allah owns all the hearts of His servants.. Let Him decide anything.. Let's the wound bleed until all the blood dried up..by the time that passed, one day you will be healed.. 

Let the time rolled on.. And in 11 months I will be free and I will cut all the strings that attach me to this painful memories.. 

A hint?

 During the meeting this afternoon, my unit head had made a decision that I should step down from being the senior partner of SIP+ and let Madam K take my place.

I was stunned. I felt degraded but he said that I should let my processor to practice coz in one year I will retire. I know I will retire but I think I still can lead.. More that 12 months to go and I still can do my best.

I am sad. He can't wait for me to slowly let go, he wants me to let go immediately. 

Yes.. I will go. It seemed I am not important any more. I wish one year will go fast. I will go quietly. 

Goodbye.😭😭😭

Stillest..

 

 From YouTube