My project..my journey..yeayy

I will start my baking tonight  for the order to be picked up tomorrow. Hope everything will be okay. Even though I feel tired of today's event, but finally I will start on something I love so much.

Saturday, I will make a journey with the whole family..going to KL..visit my in-laws and the most exciting dating ever..meeting a new friend.. Am had called just now telling me the good news. He is coming back from hostel after school tomorrow( at first he said there will be an activity in his hostel..so he couldn't come back). I am so relieved to hear the news. Now everybody will go. 

Dear friend..wait for us ..

 

A deep thought..

After the event had ended successfully, things have slowed down and I go back to my normal routine..quietly. I am in deep thought, trying to make a difficult decision...to stay or to leave. Within a week I have to decide and to act. I have been writing in this blog of my intention to move for many times. However, when it comes to act, I still have few considerations.

First, the few 'pain in the ass' people (excuse me). They are quiet now. Nevertheless, I don't think they are really quiet. My experience tells me they are discussing something..planning something..even they seems nice to me. I don't believe them. I never let down my guard. I am always aware and keep my eyes on them. Once is enough. And they are still around..

Second, that person. Since a month ago, I have managed to control my emotion. I have prayed hard, read many blogs and books to keep my motivation high. I believe that Allah has granted me peace and heals my pain because now I can put aside that disturbing thought everytime I come across that person. Let it be. I have my own stand, my own life..so I will let that person to do whatever her/his wishes. You like me..fine. You hate me? Fine..let's move on.

Third, I am not sure I can swap place with my friend. To simply filling in the transfer form, to get approval from my boss, was futile. He already told me he will not let me go. Full stop. So, I was thinking to swap place with my friend. That was the original intention. Until now I am still contemplating of this final option. With this option, I don't have to get approval from my boss..I can just go to the regional boss and tell story. Nevertheless, the fourth reason stops my pace.

Fourth, I pity my boss. Yes, pity him. I don't have the heart to go behind his back, dicsuss with his boss of my intention to transfer. It is because somehow, my regional boss will be asking me of my reasons to transfer and it will, yes, WILL sure put tarnish on my boss's reputation. It will show that my boss is unable or fail to manage his staffs and worse, fails to keep his right hand man ( me) to his side so much so until his important man (me..again) asks for transfer. (Sigh...) Hmm..thinking about that makes me unhappy. My boss is a very good man..never hurts me, never burden me with works, he lets me do my things in my own way..I am sad to leave him..pity him to get my friend to replace me because I know my friend..knows her very well.

All the above reasons make me think..until now.

Aurora's timeline.

I spent many hours went through her photo album..and videos..thousands of them..looking, admiring,remembering the time she came into my life. She brought so many changes in our daily life..erupted with non-stop activities..day and night. There are countless photos with each carries many memories..

Here are some of them..

2 weeks

A month..

Two months

Three months

Three and a half months..I like to see her hands..

Four months

Yawning...

Five months

Lying on her stomach..

Curious look..

Seven months

Seven months..manja look

Hurray...I can sit alone..look!

Eight months..after bath

Oh..I am so shy..

What did u say..?

Sweet smile...nine months

Crawling everywhere...ten months

Eleven months..Eidil Fitr

Birthday baby..One year old

Hello..who is that? Start nakal dah..

I love you sayang..so much.

My Love is 18 months old!!

My baby in my arms..

Her  serious face..

Aurora..is 18 months old today. Feel odd because I could still remember when she was a few days old..when she had jaundice .... and I spent the days in the hospital waiting and worrying about my baby..and in much pain after a Cesarean delivery...Oh..I could never forget the time. I needed rest after the difficult delivery but what could I do because her jaundice reading was quite high..she has to be warded. Thank Allah because after a few days she was better and discharged.

Now..when I was typing this entry, she was down on the floor near my lappy..playing with my note book, her toys all around her..playing alone and once in a while go to watch Timmy Time on tv. Sign..my love, my baby..I could never tell you enough that I am so happy with you around..My dull life has been lifted up with your existence..and when looking at you I have forgotten the miserable life, the misery, the pain I have experience in my early life.

Truly Allah has granted me the greatest gift of all..you..Aurora.

Normal days..

The last few weeks I was really busy. Finally last Saturday it was over. The event was a grand one. I was comtemplating whether it would run smooth or a complete failure. Thank God it was a huge success...with some minor frustrations..however I won't complain about it. Let them be..

Now, everything has gone back to normal. I could sleep well without thinking so much about work. I have to concentrate about few orders of cupcakes and cakes from my colleagues. I will start tomorrow.

In a few days Aurora will turn 18 months old. She has started calling me "ma"and talks nonsense. It is funny listening to her 'language'..she is saying something but we can't understand. She is chubby with her cheecks turn pink naturally when she is warm or cold. She would come to me when I was holding the mouse reading something on the internet. She would pick my hand and pushed it away from the computer, turned around to face her and open her arms, in a way, asking me to carry her. As if saying " stop looking at the computer,look at me and pull me up.." Hehe..my baby, how could I refuse? As expected, I left the computer, turned to her, pulled her up..kissed her all over the face..and run the bed to tickle her until she giggled happily..

I love you so much my baby..so much..