The results..

I finally got the results of the course I sat on for 5 months which started last February and finished up on July. I scored A with CGPA 4. With this results, I manage to get a Diploma. I was go grateful for all the efforts and hard work had paid. Thank you Allah The Most Gracious and The Most Merciful..Thank you for helping me to go through the 5 months of heavy burden with a lot of sacrifices from me and family.

Thank you especially to my husband..who had faced a hectic life for half a year..driving me and the children up and down this peninsular..for my children...who understood and very supportive all along the way, friends...who had helped me many times doing assignments  and office mates...who had taken my workloads when I was not around. And to my boss who had believed in me..who had given me chance to prove myself..Thank you so much. Without all of you I could never survive.

To Am and Ayuni..my children..even I (a mother, a wife, a worker..and old woman..with many drawbacks) could do it..so could you. With perseverance and patient, one could face any challenge..and trust me, Allah is always fair.

Kuantan trip..

Satar

Otak-otak

We celebrated our birthdays there..our cake..homemade.

On the beach with her tools

Enjoying the wind..

My name written by hubby

In the pool

Mummy..the water is cool..

Pantai Batu Hitam..in rain

I was bed-ridden for two weeks due to my carelessness. That day I carried a heavy box from the car up to the meeting room. The next day the pain  on my Cesarean wound started..mild at first then later when I could not take it any more, I  cried. It was a severe pain like I was cut without anesthetic injection. I could not sleep for 2 nights..could not turn to the right or left..and worse, I could not even walk. It happened on Saturday and Sunday when all clinics closed down for weekend break.

The pain was exactly like the pain on  the day  I was conscious after the  Cesarean operation delivering Aurora. I was scared that the suture wound opened up inside but after a check up at the clinic on Monday the doctor had confirmed that the stitches were still intact but because of my fault carrying heavy things and being too active, the muscles there were torn. I was asked to stay in bed, eating soft food, wear girdle and not to do any work..even sweeping the floor. Luckily after 2 week I could walk as usual even though the pain is still there..only mild.

Last week after I recovered I booked to stay in a resort in Kuantan for 2 nights. Just to bring my children for a short break. Idham is preparing for his semester test and doing assignments so we could go  only the weekend and on Monday we had to send him back to Bangi for his afternoon class. We went to eat satar and fried squids in Kemaman and later had a seafood treat in Tanjong Lumpur, Kuantan. The food was nice and the children had a wonderful and enjoyable day in the hotel pool. While they were having fun in the pool, I had a body massage in the spa there. The holiday was short but fun.

We checked out on Monday after breakfast. Kuantan was cold and windy and the rain..my, it was very heavy at that time. Our journey was smooth but later when we reached KL, we heard the news that Kuantan was flooded and the next day it was completely covered with water. We were lucky to get out before the flood but the people in Kuantan are not so lucky since that they have to bear the burden of being stranded in relief centers and losing their valuables. I pray that the flood water would recede fast and they can return to their homes soon.

Till then..

Happy Birthday to my dearest husband...Bius

My love,
It seems ages ago we have met, fallen in love, get married and now Insya Allah we will grow old together..Tomorrow you will be a year older. I think its your luck or may be genetically you never seems to look older. You are still the same person with boyish look that amused me more than 10 years ago. When you cut your hair short, you could pose as a 25 years old man..more like my brother than my husband. Many times I felt irritated when strangers mistook you as my son..many times I felt sad too.  However, nowadays I don't care much about what people might think when seeing us walking together. The most important thing is, what do YOU, my husband, think about ME. Somehow I know, you are still the same person I have known many many years ago. The one that never tries to win my heart by sweet-talking me, never offer unnecessary compliments, compliments me only when you think that I go beyond excellent in anything, but appreciates me and my efforts in anything by being a loyal, loving, caring and most compassionate man I have ever met in my life.

My love,
One thing that you have changed is that you have become mellowed by Aurora. You used to be very strict with Am but with Ayuni and now Aurora you have gone kaput. Hehe..gone your temper and harsh ways. I can see that the girls have been pampered too much. Moreover, Aurora have captured your heart completely..that you are weak to your knees with her.  That you will do anything for her. To me, nowadays I am used to your styles, to your strange ways of showing love, to your undemanding attentions, to your taste buds, to you temper, to your stubbornness..to everything of you so that sometimes I smiled listening to your babbling..and finally you will be quiet. May be these babbles come with age. I used to babble but now when getting old I am tired to say much..better say once and that's that. However, it is the opposite with you..or may be men like to babble more when getting older. I don't know..its just my hypothesis.

Kekasihku,
I can go on and on..but then it will be a redundant. My love is more than words actually. More like acceptance, contentment, happiness that is beyond my expectation. I had experienced bitterness in my first marriage and I have prayed without much hope that I could ever be happy in my life. With Allah grace and compassion to His subjects, He had answered my lamenting. He sent me this man to complete my journey with a new experience..this time with happiness.."bahagia" that I used to imagine. He is not 100 percent perfect but me too so I would not mind much. As long as he loves me and my children, that's enough.

Bius,
Even you would never read this, I am happy enough if the words printed here will forever be here. I am so happy being your wife and I would like to be your wife even in the next world. I could never imagine life without you. I pray that you will be with me till we both grow older. Be a more obedient servant to Allah and by His grace too, we will die together.

Happy Birthday my love..

Steamed bananas and kindness

I was having this craving for steamed bananas for several weeks. I had tried so many times to buy bananas at the market. Every time I went there would be no bananas except those ripe bananas which are not the one I was looking for. Until one day, after work I stopped by at a the bananas fritter stall. I wanted to buy some kuih when I saw hanging at the stall the bananas I was looking for quite sometimes. I bravely asked the makcik to sell some to me.

She said that bananas are not for sale. I begged..please sell the tome..I said I was craving for steamed bananas. The lady asked..."teringin ker? mengidam? Oh no..I was not that "mengidam". She said.."kesian..ambil la pisang ni..teringin kan..She pitied me..no need to pay her...she said..sedekah. I was so thankful..brought home the bananas, steamed them and eat with grated coconut and sugar. It was heavens.. Thank you..kindness are shown to me that day. May Allah bless you makcik..

Time flies..

The day does not flip like pages in a book..nowadays it goes as quickly as a computer screen... a click on keyboard..then the screen change..how fast.

I have noticed things are getting faster..sometimes I  stumbled upon things..unexpected things. Somehow...someway,  I have managed to get up to my feet and move on. The one thing I realized I am getting old. Some of the people I have known had gone..some have moved out far away..some stay being the same persons..some changed..getting older like me. Its the fact that time is catching up fast with me. Sadly, even though I know  things are moving fast, I have yet not doing the best out of it. I mean..when will I do more to get closer with The Al-Mighty? I am running here and there for survival..but how do I survive in the after world?

We went out today to eat out and to see things. Just to relax..and to buy our birthday gifts. My husband had asked me what would I like to get as a gift. I had no idea. Actually I have every things..I have enough. I have no wish but my hubby brought me to a jewellery shop. he said..choose. At the end I bought a new ring..a bangle..new wardrobe..and nothing for him. Like me he said he did not want any thing..he has all. I want to buy something for him but frankly I have no idea. I will wait for Am to come home so we could think if something.

Till then..

P/s...congratulations Net. You did well.

Damai Laut..

On the rocking chair..

A must activity...

My loves..

The sunset..when will my time comes?

I had to attend a farewell dinner.So far from home..had to stay overnight at Swiss Garden. I went halfhearted. Who ever would like to be with top people when you yourself is just a minor? A non important person who had to be there because of replacing her boss...when she herself prefers to be somewhere else..

But then...I got to do what I have got to do. We went, stayed for the night, I attended the dinner, a meeting the next morning and right after the meeting ended we checked out. That was it. I did not want to stay longer than I had to. It's not my place and they were not my friends..snobbish lots..

Coming back, when I was on my way to sleep after Zohor, my sis called. My ex baby sitter passed away. She was suffering lung cancer for over a year. I had written an entry about her before. Now she was gone forever. I was stunned..regretted for not visiting her for the last time. Actually we went to her house twice but nobody was at home and I didn't know her kampong address.

May you rest in peace Cik Nor. I prayed that you will be blessed upon and may you be accepted to be together with the sollehin...Al- fatihah.

A short holiday..

Scared of the tv show..hiding

Still want to watch but scared...hehhe

Completely covered her self...hehhe..penakut tul..

We went to KL to my in laws to celebrate Aidul Adha. It was just a short visit. I was tired and wanted to go home quickly so I could sleep early since the next day I got to go for work.

Nowadays my days are long and and starts early. Almost every day I come home late in the afternoon. Back at home I have no energy left to play with my baby. We bought her a tea set...she likes to have a tea party with us. I will be the waiter and her dad, sister and brother are forced to be the companions to drink her "tea". Sometimes I was too tired to move along but when she begged, pulled my hand and said please..please..I pushed my self..got up and went to be with her. I wish the holidays will come soon and I will have more time with her. Another thing is, I want her to stop wearing diapers..she is already 3 years old..soon she need to have her potty training. And the holidays is the right time for her to do that.

My...the time flies..her mummy is getting older...getting weaker..but one thing for sure..she is one happy mummy on the earth!!

Happy Birthday my love...

You are 3 years old today..my love. Three years ago but still I feel like it is yesterday. Thank you for making my life a complete circle..three happiest years of my life. So many things to say to you but I don't know how to. So whatever feelings I have in my heart can't never  be expressed. It is beyond words. I am bloated with thankfulness and contentment seeing you growing up well day after day.

Wishing you ....Happy Birthday the third to my baby Aurora Johanna..I love you dearly..

Life..pain..bliss

It echoes in my heart
beating relentlessly
and never stop haunting
my days

As much as I struggle to stand strong
the wind of sadness sweeping my face
with misery and memories
to bring out tears
which I quickly cease

Give me pains and sorrow
but be kind to give me will and strenght  too,
Allah..You are the Almighty...
You know all..

I have many stories to tell. However some would never be told in terms of words and appear here. It would only be shared with no one. Nevertheless, some good and happy stories have taken place too. One of them is Aurora. Seeing here growing up to be a very beautiful toddler..a cute little girl will always bring warmth to my heart and brings smiles to my husband. We all love her so much. She has become my saviour in my life. In fact, she is the happiness.

Here are some of her recent photos.

Till then...

Retiliation..

They finally got it..they have pushed the wrong button for too long and too far beyond control. The transfer letters came almost at the same time after my boss had admonished them on their attitude and gave a very 'straight to heart' reprimand during the  last meeting. They were shocked because this was a very rare occasion.My boss is quiet but once he talks...its bitter.

Quite frankly, I think they deserve that. They had no  shame acting like a bunch of school kids. In fact school kids are better in a way. The way they laughed loudly and cracked jokes stupidly in the canteen even there were visitors inside making me sick. In some occasions they were like...They acted very unprofessionally creating stories and discussed things in their group openly in FB.

I am speechless..ashamed as they are my colleagues. I keep things to my self. Let them do whatever they like within their limitation. I don't have to punish them..they are punished already.  By Allah..The Almighty.

Seeing love..

As we are still in the month of Syawal, I would like to wish all Muslim readers....Selamat Aidil Fitri Maaf Zahir dan Batin...I seek for forgiveness to all badly used words in this blog which might hurt you in any way.

We spent the first 2 days in KL. My brother went back to Pahang to pick up my father who had earlier followed my youngest sister to spend the holiday in her father's in law house there. So our plan to go down to Johor was cancelled. Late afternoon on second day of Hari Raya, we went home. Started on the third Hari Raya I cooked like mad everyday. Friends and relatives came down...and if not cooking for them I still cooked for the children. My daughter asked me to cook all her favourite food since she misses all those dishes.

Today, while driving back from work something happened which touched my heart deeply. I had just intersect a huge and long lorry carrying sand. I pressed the accelerator pedal to pick up speed as the road was going up a hill where accidents take place quite frequent. Going down the hill, suddenly I saw something in the middle of the road.  I was brown in colour. I was suspecting it was just a brown plastic bag or even a brown piece of paper. Getting closer, I finally could make it clear...a baby monkey. It was sitting there in the middle of the road, confounded, bewildered looking at the traffic on the right and my car was on the left side.  On the left side of the road, there was an old man on a motorbike, stopped...I suspected that he too was concern of the well being of the small creature..trying to make sound so that the animal could go back into the jungle next to the road.

I slammed down my brake panel  hard...to slow down and when came near the monkey I drove and verge a little to my left to avoid the monkey. When I had passed the monkey I kept looking the rear mirror to see if other vehicle behind me do the same. I screamed when I saw the big lorry ( the one I cut) was 100 meters behind and I was sure the driver could not avoid but to run down over the monkey. My mind prayed...God please..please. 30 meters before the lorry came to the monkey, finally it came to his senses and quickly ran to cross the road and went into the jungle.

It was a big relief...If the old man was not there, as if to signal the traffic that a creature was on the road..I might run over the monkey..and if God does not shower pity and compassion to all His creatures, the monkey would surely die.

Thank you Allah...today I witnessed love...

Abandoned

I have been neglecting my blog for so long.I can't even describe how busy I was last few months. To my friends in this blog, I am so sorry for not reading your blogs or to give comments. I am still very much alive running my family, my course works, my kids, my office and myself. Here are the updates:

a)   On July 12 my course had officially ended. I managed to pull out to the last minute all my coursework/assignments..more than 55 all together. I managed to finish my painstakingly long report (more like a thesis), went again to Genting and sat for the final exam. Stayed there for five days, had physical test
 (orang tua..nak test apa lagi..memang tak fit). My hubby and Aurora went with me, stayed there too because she had measles. Luckily I was given a  room,big enough for three of us. We were there for the first three days of Ramadhan and I was very thankful that Aurora's measles was under control there since it was very cold  in Genting so the red spots diminished quickly. I had nearly gone hysteric when I saw the red spots at first. My mind went berserk...dengue? She had this fever few days before and even with antibiotics it was still persisting. After my lecture we went down to KL and searched for a clinic. The doctor told me not to worry because he suspected it was just measles but just to be sure he advised me to have Aurora run a blood test. My God...it was the first experience seeing my baby wrapped and had her blood taken for test. Only two drops but she cried  and screamed like mad. I cried too and begged the doctor...please make it quick. I could not stand listening to her screaming. Finally...the result was negative. It was just measles. Ya Allah...it was a big relief. I can't imagine other parents with sick babies..really sick with major illness. Allah only tested me with minor sickness and still I was still inattentive and forgetful to His Compassion.

b)   My work. My bis boss is going for Mecca to perform Hajj. I will assume his post till he comes back. Thinking about that making me sick because the time he will not be in is the most crucial part in this office. I am worried but I have no choice. May be it is the best opportunity to practice whatever knowledge I have gained during my 5- months course. Just pray everything will be alright.

c)  My son has settled down with the new life as a university student. I am very thankful to Allah because finally he managed to get the MARA loan for his study. We filled up the form online and when I clicked the word SEND...few seconds later the website showed the happy words..Congratulations..He was offered a full loan and if he manages to maintain 3.5 pointer and above, the loan will be changed to scholarship. Now, it is up to him. I did my part as a mother, he has to do his. One thing that put pains in my heart is, a part in the online form needed me to fill up info about his real dad...my ex husband. Luckily I keep one copy of his IC. I had to fill up his info there because MARA wants to confirm whether the real dad was a bumiputera and IC number is imperative as a proof. I wonder what  if in future I have to get other things from my ex....how? I don't even know where is he. He had stopped bank- in money for the kids along time ago even it is his responsibility. I wonder what if my daughter Ayuni wants to get married...where do I have to find him?

d)  My Aurora. She will soon reach 3 years old. A couple  of months. She developes more vocabs but still can't speak Malay words. I am really really REALLY worried. We speak to her Malay but somehow that Malays words do not stick to her mind.When she mentioned things, it will be English words. Sometimes she utters words which for me are considered big English words (for babies) such as "torchlight". It makes me happy but at the same time worried and wondered where have  her Malay words gone? I was thinking of referring  her to a speech specialist.. may be after Raya.

e)   About Raya. We will go down to KL to celebrate Eid. Later may be will go down south to Johor to my brother's home.I am in the process of coaxing my hubby.

Till then ....Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan Al- Mubarak..Thank You Allah for giving me a chance to be around..still..and with Your Grace we will be celebrating Eid in 10 days time.

Again?

Hi blog,

We just came back from Bagan Datoh..visiting Anduk there. Yesterday my husband picked me up from Genting Highlands and straight we went to have late lunch in KL. Later we decided to have a look at the place where Idham supposed to study for the next 3 years. UniKL in Bandar Baru Bangi. It was just a small uni in a quite  calm and peaceful location. However, the place is complete with facilities which make me quite happy. Then we started home. It was a bad decision. KL was jam-packed with cars of people headed home and or back to their kampong since that tomorrow will be the polling day.

My husband was very tired...in and out the highway and driving as fast as he could so we can get home. We were thinking to stay in Rawang but since we had to visit Anduk today, my husband pushed himself to the limit. Finally we arrived home around 1.30 am. I went straight to bed.

Today, we went out quite early since we expected there would be many cars on the road. True enough. Even Bagan Datoh which is a very small and sleepy town turned out to be hectically busy with  people driving all around the kampong roads for the last day of campaigning for their parties. It was very busy but I enjoyed looking at the flags with a variety of colours and sizes adorning the roadsides.

Today I really  abandon my course works. I know I have to finish them fast since another long report is on the way. I just want to let go my stress. may be I start doing them tomorrow...if I remember. Hehe..
But then, one thing never leave my mind and keeps me thinking and thinking..I wonder what is happening to me...let it be then.

Till then.

The hard work pays..

I have been working hard to finish all my course works and my report...and studying for the final exam yesterday. And it was a relief.I did not know my grades yet but I am so happy the first phase of my course is over yesterday. My husband sent me here on Sunday late afternoon.I managed to study some of the notes given that night. Monday morning, I sat for the test. I was not 100% confident of my answers but at least I was not stuck because I could still recall some of the notes I have read and that helped me to answer the questions.

And later we had to send in all the reports and CDs of the report.I sent in all but I could see many of my friends were not in the same shoes.Some did not yet print the report, some did not burn the CDs, some did not bring all the things ...left at home and worse some did not even finish the report yet.Oh my God..if I was in their shoes, I would not be able to do anything.  I panic. And I would have a hard time listening to the harsh words by my course supervisors. Like my friend now.

Suddenly I was glad I had gone through all the hard time few weeks before. Somehow I managed to set my time doing all the homework given even though I had to stay up late every nights. I am glad all my hard work pays. I could sleep peacefully whereas some of my friends still facing the lap tops until now since the due date of all the course woks will be closed tomorrow.

Thank you my family for giving me support and motivation all the time I need . I love you.

Thank You Allah for helping me out every time I am in difficulties. You have given me so much and I have given back so little.

Till then.

Studying...ahh...my brains freeze..

I am studying hard for the coming exam next Monday. Finally last night I had uploaded my 55 pages report  + pictures + appendixes to the web. Done ! Before that we went down to town and had my report nicely bind into a mini thesis. Its over...Thank God.

Now I am revising..the more I read, the more I forget every thing..God..please help.

I was under the weather last few days...fever, cough and mild flu. The same with Aurora. Fortunately, we are okay now.Both of us have to be okay since I will leave my family for two more week this coming Sunday. I pity Aurora. I have been so busy..sometimes I regret my decision taking up for this course. Now I have no choice..I have to proceed.

My son had finally chose  UniKL. Got the offer letter for Machine Building and Maintenance course. I hope he will be happy doing that because he himself made the choice.The only thing we, the parents, have to do now is to prepare the money..which is a lot.

I have to continue studying...

Till then.

Postponed entries

Well, it has been a long time. Actually I didn't intent to write tonight but I could not enter the web based learning for my course, so I turned my mood into updating my blog. Let me make it into point form to sum it.

1)     My son scored 6As 3Bs in SPM. In detailed results...A for BM, English , History, Islamic Knowledge, A+  for Maths and Add Maths, B+ for Biology and Physics and B for Chemistry. Our reactions...me I am happy. The subjects that he scored Bs are the subjects taken when he was having high fever..at least he passed. I was scared he might fail those. The Dad..not really happy. He expected that his favourite son scored better. Well..after discussion we decided (not 100% decided actually) to send him doing his dream course..engineering at GMI. My...I got stomach cramp looking at the tuition fee only...some more heart cramp looking at the other fees. Hmmm.. We will make the final decision after we visit the Jom Masuk U Campaign at KK this coming weekend.

2)    My girl Anduk.  Happy now. The Dad is not. He is contemplating to bring her out if she could not follow studying at hostel. He is scared that Anduk will be like her brother. I said, they are two different individuals. He replied...wait till the end of the year,then. Hmm..

3)    My course/my work/my office. That are the reasons I have no mood, no time, not happy to blog. They took most of my time. If not doing my office work,I would do my course work..and believe me they would never finish. Now I am further in debt of more course works..doing a report of more than 40 pages after I'd finish doing  a field work in other office. A big and heavy burden on my shoulder. I can't stand it...feeling like screaming like mad ...but quickly I think and thank Allah for giving me strenght..If not for them, I would have collapsed. Thank You Allah...You give me challenge..and only You can help me out. Please help...


4)    However, there are several things that make me happy and content amid the stress I have now. Among them:-
       a) crawling to bed with Aurora after feeling so tired doing assignment. Watching her sleeping peacefully..kissing her uncovered hand, stomach, forehead and smell her fresh shampooed hair..then laid my tired body down..happy and content to be next to her..
       b) kiss and get kissed on the forehead by my husband before going to office.
       c) once in a while received a call or sms from Anduk..and she would end them by saying "Sayang Mak..muah..muah" and I would reply the same..
      d) be at home..watching Idham at the computer or watching tv with him ( me putting my head on his shoulder)...

All that for me are happiness..and I want no more and expect no less. Thank You Allah. So much.

The busy bee..

 Some of her close-ups which I adore. I love you yang..

Playing with bubbles..

At Atuk's house..

Lepak..waiting for the brother's interview.

I love her cheeks..

She really look like a Korean/Chinese baby here..

Hehe..she and her tablet..like pro

In her catwalk..amboi siap letak tangan kat pinggang..

Smile..this is for u Net..

 I think I am busy than the bee. My head is buzzing with work..work..work..assignments..assignments..
forums..logs..logs..can't stop until it becomes too nauseating..Too much to think..to do.. and to make
it worse I am too tired to do any work. I just want to sleep. However, falling asleep is not easy..so I came out from bed and began to type this entry.

I just want  to talk about something simple and giving me warmth and pleasure. What else..Aurora.  She is getting bigger, more choosy on food, does not sleep much at noon..all the time playing with her tablet, watching tv, playing with her penguin stuffed animal, her "bibi". Or just simply jumps on the bed and plays with me. Just for a while because a few minutes later the mother would drift to sleep leaving Aurora with her brother. She loves the brother...calling him "Am". We tried to train her calling her brother Abang but to no avail. However with her sister, she can simply pronounce the word "kakak".

Talking about "kakak", the "kakak"  has now settled down staying in hostel and studying in the boarding school. We visited her every weekend, an activity which is very tiring and costly. I keep my promise, to visit her every weekend, just to make her comfortable and for her to get used to be far away from family. Now, she is okay, she has joined the drama club, gets a part to act and they are going to participate in the district drama competition right after the school holiday. I am glad she is okay..miss her so much during week days, but I have to bear my ears listening to her chatting every weekend. Hehe..still the same. She likes to talk..and I have to listen.

That's my life now. Busy with my course assignments..my office work..my family routines. Too busy to have a lovey dovy time out with my husband. Hmm..I miss that time.

Till then.

Back to work..

I came back to office on Monday. It was hectic as usual..and I was trying my best to cope with all unattended work I have left behind. My boss is back too..to his normal self. However, it was difficult for him to handle two things..work and housework without a wife. I talked with him for a long time that Monday morning. I knew he is trying his best to be professional but deep inside he is still mourning..and that is understandable. I wish I can console him..be closer to him..hug him ( Oh my God)..Of course I can't do that. I think he will suffer for a long run..he is quiet type, lonely..he seldom speaks openly to others..except for me.

Considering that fact, I agreed to replace him to go to Cyberjaya yesterday, to witness of MOU signing between TM and Pintar Foundation. I came home late at night..and it was a very tiring trip. I pity Aurora and my husband. I have no wish to be a boss if I have to abandon them.

I have been working hard to accept who I am. Now, when things have settled down, I am trying the hardest  to maintain my serenity and my rationality. Let's be thankful to what we have in our hands and stop acting like a stupid and naive girl starting life. Grow up Wut!!

I wish holidays is coming soon. I am tired.

Happy Birthday My Son...You Are 18 today

I have finished packing and now is our lunch and Jumaat prayer break. I have ample time to write the entry of my son's 18-years-old birthday. Last night there was no internet access.We came back late from our group discussion and later had our supper outside. My friend drove us outside the complex and we had a nice chat and came back around 12.00 midnight.

My family will come to fetch me around 6 p.m.My husband has  to drive to Teluk Intan to get Anduk first and later drives down here to get me. Its a long way...up and down. But then, what can we do. Later, we will go to KL to celebrate my son's birthday. The 18th.

The first phase of my six months course will end around 5.00 p.m today. I am excited to go home for three weeks and I will continue the course by doing some research ...doing a report...using the website to answer many and many assignments, quizzes...forums...reports again..exams..continue with attending 2 more weeks of lecture here..and exam some more and that's it. By July 15, we should be able to graduate with a diploma. My Goodness...it's a short course with a loootttt of work.

I sent Idham a message last night before I went to sleep..

Happy Birthday manja mak..you are 18 yrs old now..a young man..caring and compassionate..clever and smart..humble and kind son of mine..since you were in my womb I have love you..still love you ..and will always love you forever..In my pray you are always prayed and I hope Allah will grant you happiness..here and afterward..You have given me so  much joy and I am blessed to have you. It's because in my world you are my sun..and your shine lights me up every time I feel dark. happy Birthday sayang mak..I love you so much...

It was a long message..but he simply replied Tq..mak.. Am...Am..memang la anak mak ni "a man with a few words.." Hehe..

Happy Birthday Am...

Aurora is 29 months..

Aurora and her big sister..Anduk

Yesterday marked Aurora's 29 months old birthday. I am far away so I couldn't kiss her and hold her in my arms..She is still the loveliest baby I have ever seen ( to me ). Still unable to utter a simple sentence. More towards using English. Calls me "Mom".."shu"...for shoes..for "susu". The rest still no improvement. Sometimes I am worried thinking about her vocab which is very limited. However I try not to be too worried because she is still below 33 months.

She has her own tablet..her online games for toddlers. She used to play with her dad's or my hand phones.  We decided to buy her one, a very odd decision for us. I have never thought we would buy her a gadget even she is still so young but now technology has gone beyond the age boundary. However, we try not to let her getting too engrossed with her tablet. She has to go outside and play. Or stay inside the house playing with us and her toys..car models and her 'bibi"...a stuffed "anakpatung".

My baby..I can't wait tomorrow to see you..kiss you..hold you in my arms. I love you my yang..