The hard work pays..

I have been working hard to finish all my course works and my report...and studying for the final exam yesterday. And it was a relief.I did not know my grades yet but I am so happy the first phase of my course is over yesterday. My husband sent me here on Sunday late afternoon.I managed to study some of the notes given that night. Monday morning, I sat for the test. I was not 100% confident of my answers but at least I was not stuck because I could still recall some of the notes I have read and that helped me to answer the questions.

And later we had to send in all the reports and CDs of the report.I sent in all but I could see many of my friends were not in the same shoes.Some did not yet print the report, some did not burn the CDs, some did not bring all the things ...left at home and worse some did not even finish the report yet.Oh my God..if I was in their shoes, I would not be able to do anything.  I panic. And I would have a hard time listening to the harsh words by my course supervisors. Like my friend now.

Suddenly I was glad I had gone through all the hard time few weeks before. Somehow I managed to set my time doing all the homework given even though I had to stay up late every nights. I am glad all my hard work pays. I could sleep peacefully whereas some of my friends still facing the lap tops until now since the due date of all the course woks will be closed tomorrow.

Thank you my family for giving me support and motivation all the time I need . I love you.

Thank You Allah for helping me out every time I am in difficulties. You have given me so much and I have given back so little.

Till then.

Studying...ahh...my brains freeze..

I am studying hard for the coming exam next Monday. Finally last night I had uploaded my 55 pages report  + pictures + appendixes to the web. Done ! Before that we went down to town and had my report nicely bind into a mini thesis. Its over...Thank God.

Now I am revising..the more I read, the more I forget every thing..God..please help.

I was under the weather last few days...fever, cough and mild flu. The same with Aurora. Fortunately, we are okay now.Both of us have to be okay since I will leave my family for two more week this coming Sunday. I pity Aurora. I have been so busy..sometimes I regret my decision taking up for this course. Now I have no choice..I have to proceed.

My son had finally chose  UniKL. Got the offer letter for Machine Building and Maintenance course. I hope he will be happy doing that because he himself made the choice.The only thing we, the parents, have to do now is to prepare the money..which is a lot.

I have to continue studying...

Till then.

Postponed entries

Well, it has been a long time. Actually I didn't intent to write tonight but I could not enter the web based learning for my course, so I turned my mood into updating my blog. Let me make it into point form to sum it.

1)     My son scored 6As 3Bs in SPM. In detailed results...A for BM, English , History, Islamic Knowledge, A+  for Maths and Add Maths, B+ for Biology and Physics and B for Chemistry. Our reactions...me I am happy. The subjects that he scored Bs are the subjects taken when he was having high fever..at least he passed. I was scared he might fail those. The Dad..not really happy. He expected that his favourite son scored better. Well..after discussion we decided (not 100% decided actually) to send him doing his dream course..engineering at GMI. My...I got stomach cramp looking at the tuition fee only...some more heart cramp looking at the other fees. Hmmm.. We will make the final decision after we visit the Jom Masuk U Campaign at KK this coming weekend.

2)    My girl Anduk.  Happy now. The Dad is not. He is contemplating to bring her out if she could not follow studying at hostel. He is scared that Anduk will be like her brother. I said, they are two different individuals. He replied...wait till the end of the year,then. Hmm..

3)    My course/my work/my office. That are the reasons I have no mood, no time, not happy to blog. They took most of my time. If not doing my office work,I would do my course work..and believe me they would never finish. Now I am further in debt of more course works..doing a report of more than 40 pages after I'd finish doing  a field work in other office. A big and heavy burden on my shoulder. I can't stand it...feeling like screaming like mad ...but quickly I think and thank Allah for giving me strenght..If not for them, I would have collapsed. Thank You Allah...You give me challenge..and only You can help me out. Please help...


4)    However, there are several things that make me happy and content amid the stress I have now. Among them:-
       a) crawling to bed with Aurora after feeling so tired doing assignment. Watching her sleeping peacefully..kissing her uncovered hand, stomach, forehead and smell her fresh shampooed hair..then laid my tired body down..happy and content to be next to her..
       b) kiss and get kissed on the forehead by my husband before going to office.
       c) once in a while received a call or sms from Anduk..and she would end them by saying "Sayang Mak..muah..muah" and I would reply the same..
      d) be at home..watching Idham at the computer or watching tv with him ( me putting my head on his shoulder)...

All that for me are happiness..and I want no more and expect no less. Thank You Allah. So much.

The busy bee..

 Some of her close-ups which I adore. I love you yang..

Playing with bubbles..

At Atuk's house..

Lepak..waiting for the brother's interview.

I love her cheeks..

She really look like a Korean/Chinese baby here..

Hehe..she and her tablet..like pro

In her catwalk..amboi siap letak tangan kat pinggang..

Smile..this is for u Net..

 I think I am busy than the bee. My head is buzzing with work..work..work..assignments..assignments..
forums..logs..logs..can't stop until it becomes too nauseating..Too much to think..to do.. and to make
it worse I am too tired to do any work. I just want to sleep. However, falling asleep is not easy..so I came out from bed and began to type this entry.

I just want  to talk about something simple and giving me warmth and pleasure. What else..Aurora.  She is getting bigger, more choosy on food, does not sleep much at noon..all the time playing with her tablet, watching tv, playing with her penguin stuffed animal, her "bibi". Or just simply jumps on the bed and plays with me. Just for a while because a few minutes later the mother would drift to sleep leaving Aurora with her brother. She loves the brother...calling him "Am". We tried to train her calling her brother Abang but to no avail. However with her sister, she can simply pronounce the word "kakak".

Talking about "kakak", the "kakak"  has now settled down staying in hostel and studying in the boarding school. We visited her every weekend, an activity which is very tiring and costly. I keep my promise, to visit her every weekend, just to make her comfortable and for her to get used to be far away from family. Now, she is okay, she has joined the drama club, gets a part to act and they are going to participate in the district drama competition right after the school holiday. I am glad she is okay..miss her so much during week days, but I have to bear my ears listening to her chatting every weekend. Hehe..still the same. She likes to talk..and I have to listen.

That's my life now. Busy with my course assignments..my office work..my family routines. Too busy to have a lovey dovy time out with my husband. Hmm..I miss that time.

Till then.

Back to work..

I came back to office on Monday. It was hectic as usual..and I was trying my best to cope with all unattended work I have left behind. My boss is back too..to his normal self. However, it was difficult for him to handle two things..work and housework without a wife. I talked with him for a long time that Monday morning. I knew he is trying his best to be professional but deep inside he is still mourning..and that is understandable. I wish I can console him..be closer to him..hug him ( Oh my God)..Of course I can't do that. I think he will suffer for a long run..he is quiet type, lonely..he seldom speaks openly to others..except for me.

Considering that fact, I agreed to replace him to go to Cyberjaya yesterday, to witness of MOU signing between TM and Pintar Foundation. I came home late at night..and it was a very tiring trip. I pity Aurora and my husband. I have no wish to be a boss if I have to abandon them.

I have been working hard to accept who I am. Now, when things have settled down, I am trying the hardest  to maintain my serenity and my rationality. Let's be thankful to what we have in our hands and stop acting like a stupid and naive girl starting life. Grow up Wut!!

I wish holidays is coming soon. I am tired.

Happy Birthday My Son...You Are 18 today

I have finished packing and now is our lunch and Jumaat prayer break. I have ample time to write the entry of my son's 18-years-old birthday. Last night there was no internet access.We came back late from our group discussion and later had our supper outside. My friend drove us outside the complex and we had a nice chat and came back around 12.00 midnight.

My family will come to fetch me around 6 p.m.My husband has  to drive to Teluk Intan to get Anduk first and later drives down here to get me. Its a long way...up and down. But then, what can we do. Later, we will go to KL to celebrate my son's birthday. The 18th.

The first phase of my six months course will end around 5.00 p.m today. I am excited to go home for three weeks and I will continue the course by doing some research ...doing a report...using the website to answer many and many assignments, quizzes...forums...reports again..exams..continue with attending 2 more weeks of lecture here..and exam some more and that's it. By July 15, we should be able to graduate with a diploma. My Goodness...it's a short course with a loootttt of work.

I sent Idham a message last night before I went to sleep..

Happy Birthday manja mak..you are 18 yrs old now..a young man..caring and compassionate..clever and smart..humble and kind son of mine..since you were in my womb I have love you..still love you ..and will always love you forever..In my pray you are always prayed and I hope Allah will grant you happiness..here and afterward..You have given me so  much joy and I am blessed to have you. It's because in my world you are my sun..and your shine lights me up every time I feel dark. happy Birthday sayang mak..I love you so much...

It was a long message..but he simply replied Tq..mak.. Am...Am..memang la anak mak ni "a man with a few words.." Hehe..

Happy Birthday Am...

Aurora is 29 months..

Aurora and her big sister..Anduk

Yesterday marked Aurora's 29 months old birthday. I am far away so I couldn't kiss her and hold her in my arms..She is still the loveliest baby I have ever seen ( to me ). Still unable to utter a simple sentence. More towards using English. Calls me "Mom".."shu"...for shoes..for "susu". The rest still no improvement. Sometimes I am worried thinking about her vocab which is very limited. However I try not to be too worried because she is still below 33 months.

She has her own tablet..her online games for toddlers. She used to play with her dad's or my hand phones.  We decided to buy her one, a very odd decision for us. I have never thought we would buy her a gadget even she is still so young but now technology has gone beyond the age boundary. However, we try not to let her getting too engrossed with her tablet. She has to go outside and play. Or stay inside the house playing with us and her toys..car models and her 'bibi"...a stuffed "anakpatung".

My baby..I can't wait tomorrow to see you..kiss you..hold you in my arms. I love you my yang..