Al-Fatihah for my Ayah..

I could not focus on my work on that day. My brother sent message that day saying that my Dad was admitted in the public hospital near his home in Pasir Gudang, Johor. That night I told my husband to go and have the car serviced the next day because I would like to travel back to Johor on Thursday. The next day, I was really restless..called my sister and we decided to go to Johor that night itself.We could not wait till the next morning to start the journey because me and my sister were already crying.

We arrived around 3 a.m in my brother's house and after breakfast the next morning we went to see my Dad. He looked sick and so frail laying motionless on the hospital bed.  I took his hand but he screamed out of pain. Even his skin could not be touched. He just woke up from dialysis. He was tired. He said he was thirsty so I gave him some milo. I saw him taking some porridge but not much. That were the last two things he ate. The next day he was on coma. On Saturday my brother received a call from the doctor asking all of us to meet up. The doctor explained the options. To do dialysis with the risk that his heart might stop halfway through the process or just to let go and wait for his time. I managed to display my controlled emotion during the discussion but when we broke out our decision to the doctor, I chocked and my tears dropped. I told the doctor we opted the second option but please let him go in peace..and in no pain. The doctor promised he would make sure my father would be most comfortable waiting for the moment.

Early Monday morning, I kissed his forehead and said, I love you Ayah..and I went back to my brother's house. One hour after that my sister called.. Ayah had passed away at 1.30 a.m.

We went back to the hospital..and waited during the process and finally at 11.20 a.m Ayah was finally rested in Tanah Perkuburan Islam Cahaya Masai near Pasir Gudang.

I cried hard when I received the news that my mother passed away in Mecca performing Haj in 2000. I cried hard too when I received the news that my eldest sister passed away in her sleep in 2014. Both I did not have the chance to wait by the bed side but with my Dad, I saw when he was well, the next day in comma..and the next thing taking his last breath. It kept playing in my mind again and again. I cried but this time more the inside crying..deeper.

Ayah, I have lost many important people in my life but this time I felt different. When you are gone, I felt closer to Allah because never I forgot to ask Allah to forgive you and us all. Finally you arre reunited with Mak who had gone too seventeen years earlier.

Al- fatihah..