Time flies..and make it quick.

I was sitting restlessly on the cold hospital bench waiting for my turn to see the optometrist. Next to me was my husband, who also almost reached the brink of boredom and fatigue. Tired of waiting since early morning till almost 1 o'clock. My eyes were earlier put with some ointment to make the pupils bigger so that the opp would scrutinize closer to see the glaucoma developed in my eyes. True, the opp worked like mad to see all patients with each one of them took almost 25 minutes of consultation. I was given number 23 and to wait for my turn was killing my nerves. Luckily, I insisted that Aurora would not come along. The brother came home to send her to school and later picked her up and fed her lunch.

While waiting, I put my head on his shoulder and thinking. Here we were, after more than 10 years of marriage, I have began my ordeal of hospital appointments. Eight years ago, when I was pregnant with Aurora, it was a different case. At least, the ending of the painful jabs, hospitalized with nausea and morning sickness, was this cute and healthy baby in my arms. This time...I don't know. I started to meet doctor, to follow strict medication intake, to jog every weekends, cautious of my food...and for what? The first reason..to perform my task as God's servant..my task as an officer and my task as a mom, as a wife and a sibling.

I spoke to my husband. "Bius, I want to finish my loans quickly. I want to retire early. I want to stay at home"... ( ..and  to spend every single minute with you..because I never know until when Allah will lend me time to live). The words in the brackets were only in my mind, because he was not so happy if I started to talk about death. He was so sad to find one stray of gray hair on my head. He did not want to loose me nor I do to loose him. Our love is hardly spoken out but it was more in the inside. After my Dad's gone, I am on the losing side. One by one is gone...

Please, time...fly away quickly. Finish this year quickly..and the next and the next. In five years time, I will retire. Allah, help me to be healthy. Lend me time to serve my dear family. Give me an opportunity to visit your home and show your mercy to me.

Till then..