I am taking care of my health..especially since I work near home more than 2 years ago. I find it easier to go to clinic for my scheduled check up compared to the time when I traveled long distance before. I could feel after 2 years of taking my medicine accordingly, jog at least twice a week have improved my health. Another aspect is my inner/soul medication..I tend to talk more to Allah through praying at night. It helps a lot in my time of sorrow like now.
However few days ago I had this migraine..I called this migraine because I could feel the pain was only on my left side of my head and the pain was not specifically on one place but it was moving to one spot to other spot at times. I was so uneasy and felt weak. I took my hypertension medicine as usual, so I did not think it was due to hypertension. I was tired of taking medicine so I decided to go for massage. It was better and I could go to work the next day.
One of my final wishes is to die without having to go through suffering or lying on bed before the last breath. I really do not wish to burden my family..my husband and my kids. I really do not want to go with any grudge or ill hearted towards them. I want to go with blissful feeling, feeling loved and happy till my last day. I do not want my kids to have trouble taking care of me if I was bed ridden and was depending on them on anything. I really hope that it will not happen. I do not want my kids to be sinned just because I feel hurt on any of their bad treatment to me (if any). So, I really hope my last day would be quick and painless.
And I really hope that I could get my "Husnil Khotimmah" .. the good end.
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