I am not healed..yet

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 Yesterday.

 I braced my self and off to the office..hers.

 Spoke for 2 hours...and all the time,  I looked and stared at the person closest to him..trying to read   and to understand..

 I keep telling my self, she is kind..and pretty..and I am the opposite. She has the right..every right ....and I don't have..none what so ever..

 I thought I was strong enough..but driving back home, passed by his house and saw his car in the garage..I broke down...crying hard..all the way home. Went into the shower..as to swallow my sound of weeping and sobbing..

 And I spent the whole day crying and crying...until early the next morning..

 I could not take it any more..I prayed really hard to Allah..."Allah The Almighty..help me please..please heal  my  pain...I could not be like this..it is so painful..please"

 Mysteriously, almost immediately I stopped crying...

 "Robbi Dholamtu Nafsi Faghfirli"

  

  Allah, I have wronged my self, please forgive me...