Finally..

     I am no longer the beach that wait for the waves.. Good bye...ZuuATi                           

Today is my last day working..

Yesterday, I completed my task. For the last time I updated my report, cleaned my desk, deleted all files in my desk top except the work files, threw all rubbish and junk.. And today I sat alone in this room. All my friends took leaves. Better still because for the last day, I want to be alone. 

The whole day it was raining.. Sometimes heavy, sometimes drizzle but never really stopped. I did not go home during lunch.. I wanted to spend the day alone and remembering. Remembering the old times when I stepped my feet inside this office. At that time I was an alien.. Even my partner did not say much. I was left alone not knowing what to do. 

However, after  a year everything changed. I had never thought that working here would teach me a very important lesson by experiencing the worst feeling ever. This experience broke my heart.. Changed me all together.. Breaking my principles in life and totally left me stupefied.. And leaving a long lasting confusion.. 

I realize I had underestimated people.. I let people mistreated me.. I misjudged people. I had always had a positive view on people, so when I allowed a person got into my life, the consequences are horrible. I let my guard down and the I paid it dearly... With my heart. 

Then, I spent more than a year to recover... To get back to my feet.. To love my self more.. To forget...It was not easy.. In fact, it was the hardest obstacle ever in my life.. And my last question left unanswered until now.. 

WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME? 

Now, even not really recovered 100% because I still feel hurt, but I am ready to move on with my next phase of life. 

Allah The Almighty... I had prayed hard. Finally You grant my wish.. That is to retire and move on.. Please guide me.. Forgive me.. Truly I am sinned.. Let me become a better Muslim.. A better person.. 

And when You think that I should leave this world, grant my last wish.. A beautiful closure in death.. 

Thank you Allah. You tested me, I managed to overcome it with Your Love even I had lost my heart.. Now I surrender my self to You.. 

Wut